Zora Von Burden: When did you first start performing? What kind of shows did you first perform in front of an audience?
Kitten on the Keys: I started performing at the tender age of three, as an angel in a nativity play at church. My mom was so embarrassed because I sang; Away in a Manger, louder than anyone and got bored and sat on my butt below the cross belting at earplug volume. Next was a second grade Partridge Family-esque lip syncing family act called the Stars. We had foxy matching red, white and blue star pants and vests. I am dying to get my hands on some of those old photos. I believe I also played the tambourine. In school I made cockroach carnivals from kitchen appliances and made my own soundtracks using cut up 1/4" tape. I was trying to be very William Burroughs of the audio set.
8th Grade Talent show I got daring. My favorite band was Queen whom no one had heard of. I played Bohemian Rhapsody and people talked throughout my performance. I was so bummed and the music teacher kept yelling at everyone to shut up. Bohemian Rhapsody is kind of long so I guess I bored the audience. As an adult I get the last laugh though, people love it when I do that song now. Makes me feel so much better from the chatter shame I experienced as a pre-teen. Freddie Mercury is still one of my fave 'female' role models!
At 13, I was forced into the school band because I had a good ear. My dad was the school music teacher in the next county over. I think that had a lot to do with it. I was forced into marching band, which totally embarrassed me. The crotch of the pants went all the way to my knees and my galoshes were oh so big. I played the glockenspiel and we practiced for weeks. I had my first experience smoking pot the big night of the Homecoming game. I didn't know better and smoked 14 joints with my kooky girlfriend. Her mom grew it and was president of the Garden Club. Boy, was I a disoriented drugged out pre-teen. Whoopsy! Next came a silly musical venture where I actually got paid to play at parties and such in a cover band called Forum. The band was formed with the nerdy foreign kids from, High School who were not allowed to go play outside but had to stay in and practice scales on their violins. We played at school dances. Our AC/DC covers rocked with our Yugoslavian toe head Bon Scott sound alike. We also played a ton of Who. "Won't get fooled again" was my shining spot on the keyboards, Riannon , and more! Some scary stuff! I went to college at San Francisco State University but was not good enough for the Music Department. I was crushed, so I started a band with a girl from drama class called the White Stains. Surrealistic speed psychosis silliness. We made the top ten on a few college stations and did an EP. I don't think anyone bought it. I did a show at KUSF not long ago and DJ Stereo Steve brought one by! Whoa Nelly, did that bring back some scary memories. You can still find the White Stains EP for a quarter in some record shops.
Then I played in a druggie band with Courtney Love, Kat Bjelland, Jennifer Finch and many others who dropped like flies. We went into the studio and I have some pretty funny stuff on tape, very Cocteau Twins-esque. Pretty and fluttery. Courtney could not sing but boy could she manipulate like a master! Those were some drug taking hard times. Things went really wrong with that relationship and I stopped performing in bands and switched to working in vintage clothing stores instead. Courtney spread rumors I had died in a drug over dose. Not the nicest thing for a band mate to say. I get to laugh at these old tapes though. That proves I'm still alive. All I listened to was 20s stuff like Ruth Etting, Billie Holiday, Annette Hanshaw, Mae West, etc. Someone asked me to model vintage clothing since I was drug skinny for an AIDS benefit and they heard me tinkering on the piano. No one knew I could play. Someone suggested I learn Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, and Gershwin so I could make money at dinner parties and cocktail hours. So I did it!
I quit music but started playing again when I heard I could make money playing at events. Anything to get me off my butt to make music again. I worked in a cool vintage clothing store called the Third Hand Store. All we listened to was old stuff. We dressed up everyday and lived in a magical old world. I started playing for Historical Societies and Vintage re-creation groups. My faves were old Weimar Cabaret Tunes, Kurt Weill, Tin Pan Alley, and the older jazz standards. I perfected my piano playing in rest homes. They all loved the old songs! I started voraciously collecting dirty ditties from Peter Mintun of Cockettes fame and Bob Grimes, San Francisco's super music collector. Paul Nathan had me play at his early Dark Kabarets at Cafe Du Nord. I got asked to play for some shows as "Squirmyrufflebutt". I wasn't even Kitten on the Keys yet. I met the Lollies while playing for them at Cafe Du Nord. They actually allowed me to sing! I never sang before I met Harvest Moon of the Lollies. She gave me my first shot and next thing you know, I am singing at the Great American Music Hall! I am fascinated by the Music Hall's haunted show girls past.
Kitten On the Keys, the name comes from a 1921 piano rag novelty piece by Zez
Confrey. It felt like my crazy mind; A zillion little paws pouncing on the keys and making a racket! I don't really feel like I have a famous persona due to very low self esteem issues that are very deeply rooted. But I do think I knew people liked me as a performer when I mentioned my cravings for salty meats and someone from the very large crowed yelled, "We Love You Kitten." Wow, that was overwhelming and for a moment I felt really positive about my silliness and girlie roundness! I actually graduated Cum Laude with a BA in "interdisciplinary" Art from SFSU. I graduated a semester late because I was having "health issues". I remember wearing really shiny shoes to the graduation and had a different colored tassel because my grades were good. Boy, my mama was proud. I was pretty fucked up on drugs during the later part of my student career, so I am amazed I graduated or am even alive. I tried to go back to Grad school but things got in the way, so to speak. I have actually been formally trained in the school of hard knocks, kneepads, toilet bowls, street pharmacology and hypochondrism.
ZVB: Do you come from a family of performers? Who first introduced you to the stage, especially vaudeville or burlesque?
Kitten: I do sorta come from a family of performers. As a child my mother, named
Lawanda Earlene Wamble, imitated Sophie Tucker at Lions Club's events in South East Missouri. I think she was nine. She was a beauty queen, Miss Sweet Corn, was a drum majorette for the marching band, played Snow White with all the trills and frills in the school plays, and was an oft requested religious soloist in church. The last time she sang a solo in public, she was nine months pregnant with me. She always had such a sing songy lyrical way of speaking. Growing up she always sang in the church choir. She told me near the end of her life that she lacked the self-esteem to really continue with her singing in the big city in California. She was a simple country girl. She was so proud of me playing and singing. Oh boy, if she really knew what I was doing with the piano. Several "fans" have commented, "Your poor parents! I guess they never thought you would do that with all of those piano lessons!" I interviewed her before she passed away last week (October 2004) and I found out that many of her relatives played piano and guitar and fiddle on the front porch in Missouri. I scanned a couple photos, which are so cool to me because I never knew. I never knew about her Sophie Tucker imitations either! I have recently gathered a lot of Sophie's music to add it into my act.
My Dad was always known as the performer in the family. He was a crossed eyed kid from Missouri named Shirley Ross Ramsey. Poor guy. A bandleader paid for him to get his eyes fixed as a young teen and he went out on the road playing drums as Oz Ramsey and has some great road stories and of bump and grind "tails". To pay off the bandleader, my daddy graduated school at 15 and went on the road in 'Big Bands to play the Chicago to Texas circuit, which included many an old Burly House. Funny, he played at Girlie Shows and Burlesque houses at fifteen in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, and other places to pay the guy off for his operation. Dad got drafted and played clarinet in the Korean War. He joined the Air Force and I found some really hilarious photos of him and his Air Force band mates dressed up in very silly outfits that looked very 1920's to play at Officers balls and such. They held dances in Korea, in an out door stage called the Kimchee Korral and I think he even filled in for some Shriners in TX, for some booze. I love those Fez photos with the peculiar drawn on mustache. He was not shy and wore some very silly clothes! Makes me wonder about my Dad, he really is a grumpy lump but he does have some great music war stories! It was my dad who always encouraged me to do my Shirley Temple imitations. He always said that was my ticket to the big time, as a joke. I would cut Sunday School to watch Shirley Temple films Sunday mornings. She was my super hero! Who needs Jesus? I want singing and tap dancing, ponies and ducks that lay eggs! Again, if my dad only knew about my Shirley Temple Strip Tease. I have done the Shirley routine so much I've been through 2 costumes and 3 wigs!
ZVB: What type of musical background do you have? Have you been formally trained in any of the theater arts?
Kitten: As a kid I was a member of the Walnut Creek Children's Theater. Not really a school but I spent so much time there. Sang and played instruments in church for years, while smoking pot and being tres bulimic. I worked on these Christian Orphanages in Mexico every year, drank tons of beer, barfed up my food, smuggled pot in deodorized tampons, worked in the hot sun and could not show my shoulders due to reserved Mexican morals. I was also in an interpretive dance troupe in church called the Earthen Vessels. We wore brown Danskin leotards and skirts. The elders in the church got really mad when our budding nubile nipples showed through the tight leotards. I think we danced to a bible verse about Ezekiel and dry bones. I felt like I was in a Halloween pageant. I loved it. It was awful and so dorky. I almost got kicked out of the church for asking too many questions they could not answer. I also changed all the genders in the Bible verses. Made more sense to me. Don't fuck with the bible! Also my little bro and I, while on a nice sibling hike, found the Youth Pastors stash of pot plants growing! Ooopsie! Being druggies at an early age, we couldn't help ourselves and our junior botany collections. The hippie preacher found out we had sticky green thumbs and told my mother I barfed up all my food on the beach in Ensenada. I didn't have the flu or wanted to be born again. I just wanted to be skinny and to get the cheesy Mexican food and beer outta me.
My mom signed me up for some silly acting classes where I was a corrective shoe wearing kid with glasses and braces. My first big role was a possum in this horrid super furry gray outfit. Plushies anyone? I was your typical kid who took piano lessons. I didn't learn anything because I am dyslexic and have Hyperactivity and ADD. But somehow was able to play. Instinct. All the cute little girls in my neighborhood were always comparing with me. How does she do it? It even befuddled many a competitive parent. What soul! What depth and emotion. What lousy time and blab, blab, blab. I hated the comparisons. I would feign illness every Tuesday, which was piano lesson day. I would skip school and stay in bed all day with the covers over my head. I had such horrible anxiety over it. I felt less than and sucky. Hated it. And on top of that, had a bandleader, music teacher father who taught me nothing. Zip. Zero. Just told me how bad I was. Asshole. I am playing a Schubert piano Concerto at 14. Fuck you. He didn't like another player in the family to take attention away from him. My dad is pretty narcissistic like my ex-husband. They want to be the center of attention. Instead of being proud of my pseudo show biz career, they are jealous.
My mom always thought I was an artsy fartsy gal and was kind enough to encourage me in the dramatic arts as a teen. I went to three semesters at American Conservatory Theater's Young Conservatory in the late 70's. I met tons of punk rockers, saw John Water's films, and Pier Pasolini's Salo-120 days of Sodom. Pretty disturbing stuff as a thirteen year old. But I sat through Divine's doggie poo poo eating. The Pasolini film is another story but it showed me a different side of life. I got to share and hear new music from my new city pals who didn't like Journey. I met one life long friend in those classes. He's been in tons of films and used to own a theater off Broadway in NY. I love him dearly and we love to think of those nights on BART going back to our warm suburban homes in the East Bay. One night going home, we saw a businessman nonchalantly open his brief case, vomit into it, acting like nothing happened what so ever. He got off the BART, briefcase dripping stomach acids and more. We cannot forget that story. I won tickets to a Black Flag concert by repeating that story to Dez on the air at KUSF. The question was what is the weirdest thing you have seen on BART? I won and got to talk to Black Flag on the air and go see them live. That was a big deal for me way back when. My pal comes to the shows I do in NY. He's so proud of me! I love it.
ZVB: You've performed with many bands, the Frisky Frolics, Tin Pan Alley Vaudeville
Review to name a few. How many bands have you worked with and which are your favorites?
Kitten: The Bands I have been in range from school bands in 8th grade (we even made a record! Hippie dippie! Yet Jazzy!). Marching Band. Forum, cover band, we played AC/DC and the Who. Acalanes High School Jazz band. I played on the Disneyland Stage and won the Louis Armstrong Jazz Musicianship Award my senior year in High School. Couple go nowhere punk bands. The White Stains, all girl speed freak psychedelic stoopidness. Sugar Baby Doll, Sugar Babylon, both with Courtney Love and others in the 80's. Mecurians, we made a 45 in the 90's. San Francisco's Famous Burlesque Orchestra; lead vocalist and pianist. I just quit in August 2004 to take care of my mom. The Haters; played in Japan, Vienna, lots of other places. As a Hateress, I played amplified hole punch and much, much more! Did a very funny Madonna tribute CD and Warlock Pinchers cover for their Tribute CD. Frisky Frolics; we won a Bay Guardian Best Of the Bay Award. Kitten on the Keys with AMK (avant garde turntablist); mini CD to come out on Banned Productions later this year. This was such a cool project recorded over 5 years ago with Zipper Spy. Kitten On the Keys Solo; hey I won a SF Weekly Music Award as Best Band to Cure Post Dot Corn depression! I have also recorded 3 CD's, hard to believe!
I have also collaborated with gender bending performance artist Vinsantos and Peaches Christ on several occasions in film, live theater and music. I am currently performing with Rodney Austin, the chick with the great big dick in a 1920s tribute duo called the Mud Flappers. We just performed at Visual Aid's Sweet 16 Party and teamed up with the Lollies for a film and strip tease night of pre-code Paramount shorts and naughty dance at the Balboa Theater in SF. I just played piano and glockenspiel for Dr. Elmo of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" fame. What a sweetheart! Smiles. It was wealthy novelty songwriter vs. poor novelty songwriter! Fun!
The most fun I have in bands is when my usual solo songs come alive with all these different parts. While on tour with Burlesquefest 2003, the fabulous band "Devotchka" from Colorado played; "Grandma sells my panties on E-Bay." A song from my second CD. Their instrumentation of drums, sousaphone, accordion, and Russian sounding guitar turned the knobs to 11 in my brain and helped to realize my dream! I always felt like cabaret stage diving in my little girl's dress Monique Motile made me. I would run through certain audiences and stuff my "Pink Pussy Panties" for men, in cool audience member's mouths! Woo hoo! I love having my hands free from instruments sometimes to go absolutely nuts. Having bands back me up is super duper exiting for me. The new CD I am planning for 2006 will definitely include a cornucopia of talented musical super stars helping me flesh out my songs to their finest potential. The first few CDs I did, I had to play every instrument, talk about being a control freak! Now I can relax and concentrate on delegating tasks to some great musicians! Frank Novicki of APE fame is even writing some new material for me! He's fabulous! He will be playing Uke on the upcoming CD. I'm so honored.
I have recently sung with cabaret bands the Cottontails, The Filthy Four and the Eric McFadden Experience. Each band member brings a different element to my super simple, silly songs. Having band members frees me up to solely concentrate on the vocals and
dancing. I feel like each song is a little theatrical sketch complete with choreography and fabulous costumes. I mean, it's a vaudeville sketch!
ZVB: When you perform you combine the old burly routine of comedy, strip, comedy, strip. You play piano with a kitty puppet on one hand! Tell jokes about 'pussies' and various other 'naughty' bits, dance and sing. When did you first start doing the kitten act? You also play many other instruments like the accordion. What other instruments are you accomplished at? What other complicated scenarios can you pull off?
Kitten: I think I combine many things with my performances. I didn't start out trying to do these things, I kinda morphed as I went along!' I am a silly songstress, who changes from sick little girl to howler monkey. Some say I am a performance artist, I think I am capable of doing many things at once. I am thrilled with my ability to multi task. I am so revved up! I think being a manic-depressive who needs lotsa love drives me to do what I do! I have so many ideas swirling around in my brain, sometimes I can bust them out and other times I am lucky if anything comes out. I am good on my toes, off the cuff is easier for me than scripted items. The synapses work best somehow when under pressure! I need the adrenaline to get me going. I started out working in vintage clothing stores lusting after period glamour and bouncing around to toe tapping melodies of yesteryear. Combined with a wicked sense of naughty humor, which I have had since I was a little kid. I actually made a girl faint in the girl's bathroom in second grade. She hit her head on the sink and had to go to the hospital, all before lunch! I think it had to something to do with hickeys. I just got started playing the glockenspiel with Dr. Elmo and my mini Hello Kitty pianos mixed with vintage mini Casios!
ZVB: What type of audience do you usually attract? You really encourage audience participation and sing alongs. What was one of the most memorable shows you've done with a large audience?
Kitten: I attract a varied audience. I was very lucky that my sense of naughtiness was very accepted in the Burlesque Revival. I have had success performing with the Girly Freak Show thanks to Slymenstra Hymen and Cammanda Galactica, Dirty Little Secret at the Plush Room, SF Famous Burlesque Revue and Fisherman's Famous Burlesque, as a torch singer for the Lollies and pianist in the band (this isn't really my crowd for my own material), some comedy shows like me but not all get it! I am much better off with gay crowds than straight crowds when it comes to comedy. Some music people hate me because I am too kitschy and that my shows are too theatrical and too sexual, some say I am a performance artist. Cabaret new Burlesque in France was amazing for me. I got great press and the French loved my wacky sense of humor and overt sexuality and stupidity. I can't wait to go back to Europe this year. The Odeon is always a great "burning man" crowd. Chicken John has been excellent to me. I did my CD release party there for Pretty Princess Day. The Lollies and Roky Roulette jumped out of a giant pink cake! It was truly great. I also love playing live on the radio. KUSF, KZSU, WFMU, and Radio Nova Paris have been fab. I also like Liberation Radio and Pirate Cat radio. I even did Playboy Radio with Catherine D'Lish and Dita Von Teese. Sometimes in Burlesque Shows I am-the, filler while the cute girls go change into something sexy. I am lucky that this gives me stage time to be raunchy and silly. While touring the US and Canada with Burlesquefest as the musical mistress of ceremonies, I got to really hone my people skills and musical skills. Half the fun is fucking with the audience and making silly faces to make people laugh. I am so gonna need 20 liters of Botox, I have such a rubbery mug! One of my video/audio projects in school was about a demented Victorian little girl who was obsessed with rotisserie chickens turning on their spits, hanging BBQ'd ducks in Oakland's China town, and an unsupervised video diary at the SF Zoo, where I chased emus and Canadian geese around with a large butcher knife. Not a shining moment in art history.
Part of the project included fictitious lost pet posters. I lost a bunch of animals like Binky the Pet pigeon from Union Square! The Emu Leopold was 5 ft tall and escaped from my trunk. people actually contacted me and claimed to have "found" my pretend lost pets. It was amazing how many people claimed they saw an EMU running around Market and 5th. Herb Caen got a hold of one of the lost pigeon posters and had a field day with his `rats with wings' overpopulated pigeon poop rants in the Chronicle.
I can play the accordion while singing the Hokey Pokey and stripping. I had never ever quite finished rehearsing this number when it came down to removing my padded bra, I got a wee bit concerned about the bellows pinching my bejeweled nipples. This was both exciting and terrifying at the same time to be trying something new in public. My encrusted nipples had a major collision with the accordion. This pastie accident left some damaged debris and very sore nipples for days! Beyond salvageable pasties and a nasty ass boobie crush to boot! Ah, just another example of disturbing yet delightful unintentional self-destruction! Another beautiful gem of unrehearsed agony. Now that's what it's all about! Ouchers!
Mr. Buzzy Happiness is a song I wrote from my second CD that has 3 vibrators going all at once while I play piano and sing. I wrote the song after a shopping excursion in Tokyo yielded a bumper crop of Hello Kitty Vibrators. I extracted some "Engrish" from the internet and made a delightful ditty that really gets you go go going. Every Cabaret performer needs a cute sex toy that matches her outfit. I bought a Hello Kitty baby pink piano to match the vibrator so between the sex toys, the public humiliation of masturbating in public ups the rush and exhilaration on stage. I finish this song out with a buzzy, gushy version of Minnie Ripperton's "Loving You". I love it when the audience sings alongs and knows whata masterful multi-tasker and multi-instrumentalist I am! Hitting a high "A" while having the 3 vibrators going makes me feel, good. I do a cover of Journey's "Lights" while being burned with hot candle wax. I have some funny scars from one Odeon performance. For a toe fetish song, "Bare My Sole", from my latest CD. I have audience members dressed in little piggy tails and ears while they lick frosting or shrimp cocktail sauce off my toes as I sing and play. Sometimes I sneak a little cover of Kiss, "Lick it up". My new number from my one woman show "Kitty Glitter" boasts a song called "Leather Daddy" with a butt cheek `drum' solo!
ZVB: Any other shows have you done you'd like to mention?
Kitten: Other shows that have been great to me, Trannyshack and Viva Variety. I was even a contestant in the Ms Trannyshack pageant with my kooky "Pretty Princess Day" number complete with matching hot pink toy piano. That was the year a real woman won Fauxnique. She's amazing. Her Elton John lip sync was so fabulous it brought tears to my eyes. Steve Murray's Viva Variety is a queer friendly cabaret at various theaters in SF. He just had his 50th and final show. It was great to be reviewed in the gay rags, I adore it. I think queer and queer friendly audiences are the bee's knees. I do a lot of shows with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Since my mom died of breast cancer, every year the Lollies and I combine fab feminine forces and dance and sing to raise fund for women going through cancer treatments. We have raised money for "Looking good, feeling Fab"; and organization that buys wigs and prosthetic breasts. It feels good to raise money for those in need. The Sisters do it better than anyone! Easter 2005 I got to sing my naughty Jesus song in Dolores Park. I kept having technical difficulties with my keyboard. I think someone up there didn't want me singing smutty songs with a bunch of hairy men in nun habits! The sisters are super supportive of my best pal's cool band, Polkacide.
ZVB: Did you have a mentor or inspiration for the work you do? Who was your favorite performer in vaudeville and burlesque?
Kitten: Gypsy Rose Lee's biography is inspirational! Freddie Mercury, Liberace, Sophie Tucker, Fannie Brice, Alice Cooper, Mae West, Diamanda Galas, Ute Lemper, David Bowie Fannie Brice and Mae West are my fave Burlesque/Vaudeville Performers. I am also really into Shirley Temple. She did these films in the early 30's called Baby Burlesques. All she had on was a diaper with a huge diaper pin. Pretty scandalous with all of the child porn scares. I've just been turned on to Eva Tanguay. Flamboyant singer, comedian, who was outrageous, unpredictable and the highest paid Vaudeville performer. I like Bessie Smith's blues and Julia Lee's later Boogie Woogie piano playing and daring lyrics.
I think the most risque stuff was performed in Weimar Berlin. I think they really pushed the envelope with drugs, sexuality, homosexuality, musical experimentation etc. I am supposed to go to Berlin in Summer 2005. I am so excited! I love Misha Spolianski's Songs from that period like, "I Am A Vamp". I love Ann Corio and absolutely adore her book. I am one of those performers who has to wear the double eyelashes. I have really big eyes so to accentuate 'em I double the lashes, top and bottom. I think it is also very flapperesque. I also think being a bit of a glittery bitch is great. Swarovski crystal flatback rhinestones look good on everything! decorating my wardrobe even my ukulele and accordion with aurora borealis rhinestones is my key to success. Because if you sound lousy, at least you'll look good sounding bad! Sometimes I sniff too much glue while trying to make everything look fabulous. Woozy head and aching liver, all to look pretty.
ZVB: With all the banning that went on in the early years like with the Dept of Licenses, Federation of Women's Clubs, etc, which era do you think was most risqué for naughty acts, the 20s, 30s or 40s? If you could go back in time and chose to work in any one of those which would they be? What circuit would you work and with which company?
Kitten: As far as the circuit I would have liked to have performed on from yesteryear, I would say I would like to be on the carnival circuit! Listening to Tom Waits, the Tiger Lillies, Nick Cave and the like, plus reading Geek Love set a tone in me a long time ago. There is a great book; "Girl Show-Into The Canvas World Of The Bump And Grind" by AW Stencell, that has been very inspirational to me. There is a whole section on water shows, not pee shows like my Jon Bennet Ramsey Shame extravaganza that I did for Dadafest but aquatic shows in the midway that were popular for several years. Coney Island, diving gals, seals, underwater strip teases, "mermaids, World's Fairs etc. intrigue me. I think the show I would have liked to have been in would have been Salvador Dali's Dream of Venus Show during the 1939 World's Fair in NY. For a quarter, semi-nude gals dove and swam in a large tank with glass sides depicting Dali's dreamy surrealist landscapes. Wow. To be Dali's Dolly. I have a tattoo of Venus on the Half Shell on my hip. It was one of my first tattoos I ever got. I think her shell could use a little touch up. The aquacade has always lured me. When I was first getting into performing I was asked to perform for a historical recreation society in the East Bay. I got to wear a vintage bathing suit and parade around with a big gold beach ball. The guest of honor was the one and only Esther Williams! She was in town to launch her new vintage bathing suit line at Macy's. The show was on Treasure Island and it was honoring 50 years of the World's Fair, and the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges. While learning about the 1939 World's Fair and the Aquacade, I found out that Sally Rand performed there! She had her own "dude" ranch which was dubbed the "nude ranch", where gals rode naked on donkeys for the viewer's amusement! Carnival shows seemed like such a sub-culture that I would have fit into as a performer!
I think I would not have minded being a Minsky Girl in the late 20s. It seems that the Minsky shows were super lavish and had a lot of women in them. Also they could guarantee a living wage for performers back then. A lot of theaters folded and couldn't meet the pay scale. A lot of comics and a lot of women had a lot of work at the Apollo Theater through the Minsky's, so I can see working for the Minksy's as early as 1928, I know they went on and on and on and were quite successful. That would have allowed me to continue my craft. Although I still find the best fascination with Weimar Berlin, the 20s and 30s, with all the drugs and homo-eroticism. I love that whole era. I was in a show a long time ago through the Goethe Institute and through Mel Gordon who is an author, who did Voluptuous Panic and his partner did Hot Girls of Weimar Berlin. They were the directors of the show, it was a sex museum and cabaret and I was the musician, I was the pianist. It was way before I sang or did anything, I played my heart out. I used this vintage masturbation machine while I played the piano dressed like a little sailorette, kind of like my nymphet Shirley Temple thing. It was funny, it ended up on HBO Real Sex too, so I guess I was doing something right. That was a long time ago, I'd have to find the program to tell you what year that was. I also think having an act on the Orpheum Circuit during the Vaudeville heyday would have been great. Blossom Seely is another role model for her belting vocal quality. She's pre-Ethel Merman.
ZVB: Which naughty ballads do you really enjoy performing? Do you write any
yourself? Have you taken any famous songs and changed them with your own naughty ad libs? Which ones were they?
Kitten: I think the very first naughty ballad I ever performed has to be the 1920s classic My Girl's Pussy. I heard it off of an R. Crumb album, one of the Cheap Suit Serenaders sang it and I just fell in love with that song. I worked with this guy at a vaudeville show up in Sacramento and he made a tape of all this really silly, fun stuff. I loved that song and I figured it out and I performed it for the first time by myself, oh my god I feel like such a big girl, at Tease-o-Rama in New Orleans. That was really, really fun. I got a little tiny cameo spot. Since then I have actually written a few little naughty songs. I think people like to be naughty and to be silly and to think about making sex silly. The first song I ever wrote was called "Rice Rocket Boy" and it was about cute Asian boys in my neighborhood, (I live in the Sunset) and their crazy cars. These kids get killed all the time in these cars. Oh my god, they're just supped up trick Toyotas. I found it really silly, I wrote a song about them. I wrote a song "Granny Sells My Panties on Ebay". Which has always been a big hit. I like to dress up different people as grandmom that come and pull my panties off and shove them down my mouth or throw them out in the audience. I think that's fun. As far as naughty ad libs, I'd say there are quite a few of those. I'd say my favorite song was Lights by Journey. My partner in crime Mr. Tinkler had some burning candles and those were the lights and I pretended that I couldn't read the music and to keep holding the lights up, which were the candles near to me and he accidentally burned me with the wax. (laughs loudly) It was my punishment for playing such a bad song as Journey's Lights. I don't know, but it got me into playing that song and people love it. I also do, Minnie Ripperton's Loving You, while using a vibrator. Helps me reach the high notes. Bohemian Rhapsody, David Bowie. I mean nothing is left untouched. I often get bored and need to amuse myself while playing and performing. Nothing Compares To You, that's another one by Prince. Oh my goodness I love that.
Some of my favorite double entendre songs happen to be the old Hapa Haole Hawaiian songs. They were written by white people who included a few Hawaiian words. I love that song, I play it on my Uke; "Princess Papule's got plenty of Papaya and she loves to give it away". That's a song from the 20s and Pupule means crazy in Hawaiian but actually good crazy, happy crazy. So Miss Princess Papule is always giving away her Papayas. I also love the song; When Hilo Hattie does the Hilo Hop. Hilo Hattie was actually a real character of the Islands, like a cigar smokin' Grammy. I think they ended up naming a chain of stores after her in Hawaii, which is kinda sad but it keeps the name going. Other songs I like to stroke on the Uke. Ukulele Lady is really, really fun and I often like to have drag queens and drag kings come in and be Hula girls and get the audience to participate because everybody loves to hula. I have recently employed the 400 pound girth of magician R Jowens to be one of my Hula gals along with the Lollies. His sock garters and skirt rule!
ZVB: Do you have beginners in the business who ask for your advice? What would you say the 'perks' and pitfalls are when working burlesque?
Kitten: I would say when I was on tour back in 2002, every single show I would go out to sell merchandise, which is a great way to meet people, help pay for a tour and have a little spending money so you can get steak instead of French fries or fries with your Big Mac, whatever you want (laughs). It's very inspiring, the new burlesque really inspires women. I think everybody has a bit of a naughty streak and exhibitionistic streak and it's so much fun it's infectious. You have great artists like Dita Von Tease and Catherine D'Lish and Dirty Martini and the currently crowned Miss Exotic World; Michelle Toots L'amour, who are actually great dancers and great performers and they just have a certain special something in them that you can't just do. You have to be born with that special something. I think anybody can become a burlesque performer if they want to. I think it's an attitude and in the wardrobe. I don't mean to keep pressing the whole wardrobe thing but I'm kind tired of going to shows and seeing people in their Target underwear and no spanglies. I like to see a little effort be made. If it's like a narrative dance that includes maybe some clothing that isn't shiny or fancy, well that's fine but I think it would be really, really nice to show a little effort. What I generally say is, try to find like-minded people in the area. I say go for it. Whether it be a rock club or a movie theater, get a little act together, even just a 15 minute act. Go to your local rock club or your local strip club or your local movie theatre that shows midnight movies or cult films and see if they'll let you on the bill. I think that's a good way to start. I also think that with the advantage of the internet, it's great get on the Tease-o-Rama group or the Miss Exotic World groups. The yahoo groups are great in keeping people in touch. Also I have to hand it to the Pontani Sisters, Luke and Laura of the Exotic World, people like the Lucha Va Voom, Fluff Girl Burlesque. People that put on traveling shows and or put on conventions are great in getting people together.
So that's my advice to new comers. I say get involved. You might even donate your time and be a volunteer the first time around and see how things are done. Meet people and learn. I've met so many awesome new girls at Miss Exotic World this year that weren't there last year. Some great new people from Las Vegas, San Diego, Minneapolis. It's great to have them on board. I would say the perks of being involved in burlesque is you get to wear costumes and you get to play dress up and you get to travel and meet neat people. I would say the pitfalls are show people like bookers that don't understand what you're dong. I had a club in Dallas that just kept bugging me, bugging me, bugging me to get me, the Lollies and the band to come out. He wanted the burlesque performers to sit on people's lap and get them to buy drinks, which is not what we do. I'm sure we could but I think he had the wrong idea about what we did and it didn't really sit very well with me or the other performers. They like to keep a distance between themselves and the audience. So I would say the pitfalls are look out for those club promoters who take advantage of you and take advantage of your sweetness, your good looks and your hot bod and try to make a lot of money off you. It's more than just the fun of putting on a burlesque show. I realize there's business involved but giving guys free lap dances and encouraging them to buy drinks ain't a part of it, I don't do nothing for free. So I would say the pitfalls, it's mostly the promoters and the club bookers that I would look out for.
I do get lotsa requests from beginners at shows, on tours especially. I get lotsa emails as well. I think being supportive and giving out info is great. I come from a different perspective because of my music but I think tons of women want to express their sexuality on stage. Look-how popular Pole Dancing for housewives 101 has become from Carmen Elektra. I think it is a good thing! The perks of working in Burlesque are showing off my naughty bits and getting paid to be subversive Sometimes when burlesque becomes "trendy" it diluted what the more seasoned burlesque starlettes were doing but time will-tell-who the greats are, like Catherine, D'Lish, Dita, Dirty Martini, Kitty Diggins, the Lollies, Harlem Shake, etc.
ZVB: In the history of burlesque, which show do you feel was the most erotic? What particular moves do you think are most alluring? There was much controversy over the which dance style was the most raunchy, from the shimmy to the tango. Which do you think was the most wild for the times?
Kitten: I think the most risque stuff was performed in Weimar Berlin. I think they really pushed the envelope with drugs, sexuality, homosexuality, musical experimentation etc. I am supposed to go to Berlin in Summer 2006. I am so excited! I love Misha Spolianski's songs from that period like, "I Am A Vamp" and "Special Girlfriend". I think Sally Rand was super bold doing her fan dance and giant bubble dance in just body makeup. She was essentially all nude!
ZVB: Sophie Tucker got arrested for singing a song considered too obscene. What song have you done that might have got you arrested?
Kitten: Well, I have been arrested, even recently. Never make verbal threats of harming yourself, it'll get you 5150'd in a heartbeat in my house. Fuck. Actually, sometimes I break FCC regulations a lot. Janet Jackson backlash. Sometimes I don't care if my nipples show if I have a pastie accident. Once I did a whole performance as a battered and bruised Jon Benet Ramsey and the flaming diaper of shame. I took off my adult diaper, doused it with lighter fluid, lit some money on fire, and then pee peed all over the diaper until the fire went out. My statement on Jon Benet's bed wetting and how her parents paid off the Boulder Police. I guess I did it because my last name is Ramsey plus I like to relieve myself in public.
ZVB: You collect old sheet music, which are some of your favorites?
Kitten: I'm pals with San Francisco's own Bob Grimes who saves me naughty 1920s stuff. Vintage sheet music titles I like; I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones. There's Just A Little Bit Of Monkey (Still Left In You And Me). All the Quakers Are Shoulder Shakers (Down In Quaker Town). Keep Your Undershirt On. How 'Ay Gonna Keep "em Down On the Farm. (After They've Seen Pare). Snake Hips. I'm My Own Grandpa. From The Indies To the Andes In His Undies. What Kind Of A Noise Annoys An Oyster? Any Tom Leher. Masochism Tango. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park. Smut.
ZVB: It's so wonderful you're keeping the old, true art form of Vaudeville alive. What about its lifestyle really appeals to you?
Kitten: Vaudeville reminds me of my favorite show as a child, the Carol Burnett Show! I like stripping to vintage music just because I think the songs are way more clever and fun and have a lot going on to them. I also like changing the words around of course, like
Good Ship Lollipop, to make it. one big sassy, saucy, sexy extravaganza. I like having a sense of humor when I do this, sometimes, like I did the other night, I don't know why, for no reason, I just took off my dress. Thank god I had some decent pasties and panties on. It was fun and it was comfortable. I guess I'm comfortable with partial nudity. I do think stripping and teasing is great because it leaves more to the imagination. I think that there is just so much blatant sexuality, nudity and violence and everything is so in your face. I mean who hasn't seen a pierced dick and a pierced hood on a lady's naughty bits. Who hasn't seen all that stuff. We're all over exposed. Leaving a little tweaking to the imagination is-great. I think one of the greatest tease artists is Katherine D'Lish, I think she's so sexy, the way she performs and does stuff and shakes up a champagne bottle like it's you know, a penis coming. It’s all done with such class. Also, I'm a little fuller fleshed and I think it's nice to see real bodies on the stage instead of plastic silicone, bronzed, tanned ones that are absolutely perfect. I also love to have everything be a little tongue and cheek, just a little wink wink, nod nod, a kinder, gentler time when things weren't so crazy. I'm telling you, this on a day when fucking Bush is gonna be getting on the TV telling us why we need to have a war. Ehh, yikes. I'd rather go to a burlesque show and forget my worries.
One of the things I love most about performing Vaudeville is traveling to new places to expose myself to new people. As Gypsy Rose Lee and company would do, they would tour different circuits until the contract ran out. I adore touring. I get so focused on just performing, major daily distractions don't bother me. Having ADD, running a small `freak for hire' business, writing music, making costumes, feigning stigmata for the publicity, getting my meds adjusted, tapping my toes to Bessie Smith like I'm a head banging' goat licker, wears me out sometimes. With touring it's performing only and waiting until our cycles sync up! That always happens. Touring is my favorite thing to do. I have a hard time accepting success due to super low self-esteem. I feel incredibly grateful that I get to play dress up and sing wacky songs all over town and beyond. I change characters so easily, anything but to be myself. When I don't have gigs I volunteer to perform at rest homes and benefits just to keep go go going! Nothin' is funner than getting together with your girlfriends, playing dress up, and re-enacting old movies and musicals with a twist. Coming up with original stuff is awesome too. I have several songs on the back burner that are titillating! I love being Libacrotchie, I discovered you can see your entire love tunnel if you do the splits on the piano bench at Bimbos, there's a mirror right there!
ZVB: You always have the most lavish costumes, do you make them or have them made? Who makes your stage props?
Kitten: I love Ann Corio and absolutely adore her book. I am one of those performers who has to wear the double eyelashes. I have really big eyes so to accentuate 'em I double the lashes, top and bottom. I think it is also very flapperesque. I also think being a bit of a glittery bitch is great. Swarovski crystal flatback rhinestones look good on everything! The rhinestones come in tiny zip lock baggies, I feel like I am scoring crack or some kind of dope! Decorating my wardrobe, even my ukulele and accordion with aurora borealis rhinestones is my key to success. Because, if you sound lousy, at least you'll look good sounding bad! I use the super talented costumer Monique Motil She runs and. directs a Vaudeville show called Spectacular Spectacular. I was lucky enough to be in a couple of her shows doing a morbid version of Me and Little Andy by Dolly Parton as I got pelted with tomatoes and crooned in June to the moon while stroking my mighty Uke in another. She's a brilliant woman of large stature and talent. She's made me all my favorite costumes_ I recently started making my own costumes, mostly with glue because I can't sew. I make tons of accessories with Swarovski crystal rhinestones. For my trip to Monte Carlo 2005 to shoot photos with Style Monte Carlo's-Ammedeo Turello. Glamamore from the Miss Trannyshack Pageant fame, made me two fabulous outfits to reflect the Mediterranean Sea. Gorgeous lined gowns with trains and rip away panels.
ZVB: Will you indulge us in some of the dirty jokes you tell during your acts?
Kitten: Yes, it's very, very true that I have a potty mouth. I've always been this way and a lot of the dirty jokes that I tell just kind of, please excuse me, I pull out of my butt. I don't know how it happens. I feed off the audience or I feed off what's going on or I feed off my own song lyrics and just kind of stream of consciousness, tell dirty jokes. A lot of them are very childish and very silly. A lot of it you can find in my song lyrics but I would say a couple things are, for instance; "No one is jerking while looking at my merkin " A merkin, of course, which I mentioned before, is a pubic area wig. I like to make them and I like to show them off. I have ones that light up. I have candy ones, I have ones that make noise and I would say across the board people really love that. Also in one of my songs; Grandma sells my panties on ebay, "the inmates come unhinged when they smell my hoo hoo" and that's just awful, I'm talking a little 8 year old's private areas smelling up a pair of panties and how inmates in a jail cell really like them. That's pretty bad. It's kind of like, "I went to Neverland Ranch and got molested and all I got was this stupid t-shirt." You know bad stuff like that. Not very funny, pushing the envelope. I feel like it's ok for me to make jokes about sexual abuse because I was sexually abused and that's a way of me working out my problems.
I do work out a lot of my personal problems onstage I would say a lot of my dirty jokes comes from that. Also my last name is Ramsey and when the Jon Benet Ramsey scandal came out, I really took to that. I wasn't a baby beauty queen but I was a child who was fiddled with. I don't know. I took to that as something that I put in my act. I work with it a lot. I even met some people in Denver who knew a lot about the Jon Benet Ramsey case and when the family moved from Boulder, they had some items left over in their home from the Jon Benet Ramsey scandal This is horrible but they actually had some of her belongings and I got to see them. They used them in a show, it was really kind of weird, as props. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you about this. Maybe this is terrible. Oh my goodness. I also like to use some drag queens jokes. I like to use anybody getting hard or hard times jokes and I like to have the audience participate in the dirty jokes. Just get involved in my numbers as much as possible, to involve them. It's really fun. To help me figure out rhymes, to help me with the punchlines. I pretend that I forget them and I try to have people figure it out. That's really fun, that's fun for me. That's a way of telling jokes.
ZVB: How many personas and acts have you done to date? What were they based on?
Kitten: I actually have a lot of different personas because heck, who wants to be themselves. I think portraying other people comes from me being so insecure and hating my life. It's way more furl and glamorous and silly to pretend and play even at my old age and be somebody else. I would say the first persona I started doing was the little girl thing. I could get away with a lot of dirty jokes, a lot of pedophile stuff and again I think it's because I was molested as a kid and it was a way for me to work through things. Suzanne Benet Ramsey was one of the characters. Then I did a character called Squirmy Ruffle Butt who was very gregarious, who was a circus entertainer extraordinaire, who had no talent. And that was for a show called Carny Mundi, that was pretty fun. That's when I started really deciding I liked to perform and then I've been in lots of bands and I think each one had a different persona really. There was a band called the White Stains, we were kind of 60s psychedelic all girl rock. Then I was in a band called Sugarbaby Doll and also Sugar Babylon with some people from Hole, L7 and Babes in Toyland. I think that our personas, we pretended that we were in the Cocteau twins, that wasn't a very good band. I listen to the tapes and laugh. Only Kat Bjellan and Jennifer Finch had talent.
Let's see, Cabaret Chanteuse is another one that 11 portray, the Holy Roller Bible Girl is another one I do. That's actually one of my favorites because I was brought up so rigidly in the church and it's very, very fun to be naughty with religion because they are so fucked up. Religion sucks (sighs exasperated). The persona I'm probably most known for, based on myself is the Pretty Princess. She is a 30 something girl who hates herself, hates her body, hates everything about it including her bad pubic hair and hairy legs. She likes her boobs but everything else can go. It's about having a bad day. I would say that's probably what I'm best known for, is the ugly fat girl who hates herself, It's very close and near and dear to my heart, so I think I do that one well Being insecure is a big thing. Also, the naughty little girl, of course I think I've mentioned that, the abused little girl. I think a lot of my personas and a lot of the things that I do are very off the cuff. I -don't mean to do it, they just kind of happen. I also do the 17th century, very flowery, piano, harpsichord lady. I love that, I love that whole Amadeus Amadeus kind of thing. It's very flowery and flittery on my finger tips. Oh and how could I forget my Hawaiian character, Kiki Kukani, she's the Uke strumming bimbo of Hawaii, Kiki means kitten and Kukani means Suzanne, so Kitty Suzanne is my Ukulele character. She likes to stroke the Uke and more. That's fun. I had Cyril from the Ukulele Club Of Paris come to one of my gigs in Paris this summer!
ZVB: What movies or television have you done?
Kitten: I've done have been extra work in So I married an Axe Murderer, the beat poetry cafe scenes I was in ended on the cutting room floor though. Murder in the First in1995. I was working in vintage clothing store. The costumers came in and bought a butt load of costumes from us for this 1930s drama. I caught the costumer shoplifting and next thing you know I'm an extra in the film. Drunk crew members started calling and harassing me that they were Christian Slater's stand in and personal. assistants so I should give them a hand job or something. Not a fun experience. So much sit around and wait. But, I did learn the beauty of the craft services table. Red Vines rule! More cutting room floor in this one. I've done lots of cable TV and cable access TV; HBO Reel Sex, Sex Bytes; 3 times! I played the cheesy wedding march on a Casio keyboard for a couple getting married in latex clothing. The clothes were amazing by So Hip It Hurts. So funny to see these now. The groom was such a cad and was sleeping with the flower girl right after the real wedding. Just amazing. I was a cast member of a show put on by author/UC Berkeley Professor Mel Gordon (Voluptuous Panic) and Goethe Institute. It was a recreated Sex Museum based on pre-Nazi Berlin. The focus was sexologist Dr Magnus Hirschfield. There was a sexy cabaret and an aphrodisiac meal. The show did not get great reviews but was featured on HBO's Sex Bytes for several years and was translated into several different languages. I played the bare buttocks as percussion (Shmertz Music, real vintage German Ass Whipping Music that was found in the Museum!) and played piano while using a masturbation machine that looked like a wooden bicycle dressed as Shirley Temple. A gigglefest for sure. Great idea but the show was a bomb . So funny that the Shirley act stayed with me all these years!
I was on the E! network interviewed by Nina Hartley at the Exotic Erotic Ball one year. My pals from all over the. country called me late at night for years to say they saw me in a gingham corset and tutu on TV! One year I performed onstage at the huge leather event in SF, The Folsom St Fair, in a Plushy shiny pink bra I made out of Hello Kitty Earmuffs. Gina Gerschon was off filming her documentary Rocked and I ended up in the footage! She was rehearsing for her girly rock movie "Prey For Rock And Roll". My Hello Kitty Boobs and custom over the top Kitten Tiara ended on the IFC Channel for the world to see! Local cable access has long had a love affair for my silly antics! I have been on Reality Check cable 29 for several episodes including a feature at the Naughty Santa's Black Market Bazaar at SOMARTS Gallery and on with Stoney Speaks, a Berkeley Cable Access outspoken host who is porn star Nina Hartley's pal. The engineer was the guitar player for the cool punk band the Angry Amputees. He really is an amputee and great engineer without digits! Also Fuck TV (channel 29) as Haterella, a Victorian lass counting sand at a tea party and sleeping with a shovel Very Andy Warhol's sleep_ And there was Man on the Menu-zombie film (another channel 29). I played a brain eating zombie_ I looked for boys at the book drop at the Public Library who looked smart. My fave was playing with the mummified cat in the Presidio's antique pet cemetery. Spooky. This was in association with `Zombie. Pin Ups', Zombique, Monique Motil; the zombie mastermind who is the wonderful seamstress who makes all of my costumes!
ZVB: Wow, you've done a lot of cable!
Kitten: I also did the Debonair Millionaire (29 pilot). This really shitty game show pilot sucked so bad. Some of the worst lines I have ever uttered. I played the pianist and love interest of the debonair millionaire who gave clues to this San Francisco treasure hunt game. I got to play piano in an amazing historic landmark, the Archbishop's Mansion dressed in my tango finery. The piano used to belong to Noel Coward! The last scene is of me in a bubble bath luring investors to buy into the project. What a heap of garbage. I needed that bubble bath to wash away those lame lines. I was interviewed for a special on Burlesque for the CBS evening news! I got to sing and dance and narrate a little history on Burlesque in SF. So awesome! My mom actually got to see it before she passed away and as conservative as she was, she was so proud of me! The San Francisco Sex and the City 2004, Hello Dolly Variety Show Burlesque night was another. I gave these folks as
much material for their one hour special on the history of sex in SF. They came down and filmed a San Francisco's Famous Burlesque Revue Show at the Make Out Room as part of the Burlesque Revival. I was shown half naked strummin' my trusty uke and singing with the Burlesque Orchestra as the Lollies danced! I was listed in the credits and I felt great that I was remembered as a useful resource! I have been on the Tess Sweet's Sex Pro the TV show twice now. The director of Sweet Moves, a Jazzercise sex exercise video has her own hilarious TV show! Once I did my Shirley Temple strip tease. The second time, my other cabaret act, The Firkeytoodlers (old Engilsh for `before the fuck') did a really raunchy song with the very frightening Mr. Tinkler (Ward Abronski from Polkacide) singing a delightful version of "Little Girls" from the musical Annie and a pedophilic monstrosity called `Bad". Other TV shows were Canal Plus and Queer TV: Kitten goes international! On the Cabaret New Burlesque show for 200-5 in Paris, one of my costume classes was caught on film for Canal +, the hip HBO of France. Dirty Martini from NY taught sultry sexy Burlesque dance. moves while I taught bra embellishment, costume tips, and the class fave "teton" or pastie making. I purchased all of the supplies in the states and boy did those gals go to town on their boobie embellishments! Dirty and I taught 2 successful sold out classes that were shown on TV. I had several French email me about seeing us on TV! In 2005 I was honored to perform as Lil' Ho-Peep on Queer TV's JackE Jett variety talk show. I got flown to LA and put up in a nice hotel. The who was great, so retro 80s Queer with dancing girls and a host that looked like Max- Headroom with one yellow dish washing glove. Super duper cheesy fun. I love my UP Ho Peep outfit, but I did not get to finish my act due to time constraints. No Boobie Money Shot for me! I was so anxious to do "Pretty Princess" as my feature and have a total meltdown on TV. I'll keep my fingers crossed for another chance to publicly humiliate myself! My great pal Kitty Diggins performed at a later taping that day, we got to catch up for 5 minutes before I had to go to the airport.
ZVB: What's the most recent television work you've done?
Kitten: I just participated in a silly reality cooking show for Bravo, kind of a Queer Eye of the Chef set; Top Chef. It will air April 2006. The show was filmed at Mr. S Leather and Ms S Latex's showroom South of Market. Super swanky and beyond cheesy. All the `top chefs' task was to make sexy food. I felt it was all based on spicy cum shots, very yucky. Only a couple of the sexy desserts were edible. There was a chocolate gouache bikini that made my mouth stick together, how sexy, like a chocolate gag ball. I never drink, it mixes poorly with head meds. I was bored even though RuPaul stopped by to sample the naughty noshes. After a couple sips of wine, I was eating crunchy cookies off latex clad porcelain boobies. The cookies sucked by the boobies were hot cha cha. When the cameras roll my inner attention seeking, sexually abused child comes out to play. That was a good night to be a practicing bulimic I can't imagine what crap they will keep in the show. My fake ghetto hair kept getting caught in my pastie tassels. Riotous laughter at my expense followed me throughout the buffet line that night!
ZVB: What was the oddest request you've ever received from a fan or fellow performer?
Kitten. I had a really funny thing happen to me last night. I do a lot of benefits for people with Aids or Cancer just because I'm one of those help-a-holic people. It makes me feel good to donate my time. And I have fun doing it, get all dressed up with a bunch of drag queens, it's great. So the woman who put together the event had to bring her four month old baby and her husband was sitting in the back with the baby and I was the only burlesque performer on the bill and I went last. I guess the father of the baby told the woman that put on the event, who was the mother, "Oh my god the baby's hungry after watching kitten on the keys exposing her nipples. And I just thought that was really funny. That's one of the funniest things ever said to me about my partial nudity. I just got a phone call from a booking agent to be a really cutsie Shirley Temple like girl with a giant number on me for this coming Wednesday on roller skates at Moscone Center. I was delighted to meet Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols that night while on roller skates. I'm such a star fucker! One time, one of the weirder performer things I had to do, was be on roller skates and stilts for Nordstroms and I actually fell on a crack in the sidewalk and I broke (laughs), I had a hairline fracture in my elbow. Which was really bad because I had to quit a lot of jobs over that because I need my piano arms and fingers to play and Nordstroms wouldn't take responsibility for it. So that's actually one of the odder requests that I've had, doing stilts for Nordstroms. That was actually really humiliating (whispers) but I needed the money.
ZVB: In your opinion what makes the strip tease so much more sexy than just straight nudity?
Kitten: I think burlesque is fun over just straight nudity because it takes a lot of imagination to put together some cool little shticks that makes peoples' imagination go twitter twitter. And I think it brings out a dancer and a performer's personality a lot more too. I know I can be kinda meek and mild offstage and a little shy but when I'm up there I'm such a stage whore and I think it really brings out my true personality. It's really, really fun. And I think the fun is then infectious and everybody enjoys it. I think teasin' is pleasin! It is fun and leaves things up- to an individual's imagination. Burlesque brings folks together instead of stripping, which alienates people, because it is more about getting off in a corner with a private dance or being in a private hidey hole watching a movie. Yes, I am generalizing stripping but simply for the sake of this question. After seeing some purdy sparkly boobies and cute ruffled drawers one can keep that image in their head and go home and do what they want with it! Wink wink, nudge nudge humor can be served in heapin' helpings in front of everyone! The more the merrier. Let's share spunky lowbrow sexuality with each other instead of keeping it behind closed doors. For me I like the partial nudity because I have never really liked my entire body. With Burlesque I can just show off the bits I do like! Hey, I don't want to share my ass pimple with everyone! I am proud I have perky boobies and a plump rumpus room. Makes for a monkey spankin' good time!
ZVB: What are your plans for future shows? Who of your current colleagues would you love to work with?
Kitten: Right now I am working with Rodney Austin, the chick with the great big dick. Rodney is a visual artist and a flapper. And we have a new little band, a little duo called the Mudd Flappers, it's like two big personalities coming together to make one big thing. We do songs from the 1920s. We've collaborated before in. the past on little shows. I kind of brought him into the burlesque world because he's just such a dynamic personality. He was the first person to ever have a one person show at the Center for the Arts, Yerba Buena Center, first person to ever have a show. And he is gorgeous, an absolutely gorgeous flapper, who just happens to be 6' 4". Rodney Land is the website for Rodney. Another person that I continue to enjoy collaborating with is Kitty Dickens. I'm going to be collaborating with a European cabaret artist; Jasmine Vegas. She's an ex-patriot, No Wave gal from New York. She moved to Paris and she continues to having a thriving career over there and we were introduced in France last year in Nantes and we've stayed in touch and we're actually having a show together in a few weeks.
One collaboration I'm working on currently is with three members of the band Polkacide and we are going to be performing 1920s and 193.0s songs on Ukulele. That's with Ward Abronski. I'm on piano, ukulele and vocals. We've got a Dixieland kind of sound going on. And then we have an amazing, sassy clarinet player who wrote the Weiner Dog Polka, Neil Basa and then Laurence on Trombone. So it's going to be a really fun eclectic mixture of musicians playing 20s and 30s music. We're called Ukethenasia, so that's yet another collaboration that I'm working with, that I'm very excited with. I will be going to Europe and collaborating with a bunch of women to do a show called Cabaret New Burlesque, we're doing a show in France in the Belleville district, it's a theatre called Le Zebra. I guess they have all these African animals hanging up all over the ceiling. Sounds fun, a fun little theatre. The theatre is next door to a Muslim mosque. Lots of sandals and shoes out front. So while I'm in Paris after the show, myself and fellow performer Ms Dirty Martini, we get to go down to the south of France, to go to Monaco and we're getting a photo shoot done. Which is just so bizarre, I can't believe that in my life, that I'd get to go do such an interesting thing. I can't believe they'd even want me. I really respect Dirty Martini and her work as an artist. If anyone can light a stage on fire, it's Dirty Martini.
I also wish to continue my collaboration with artist Joshua Ellingston. And one day I would love to do either a comic book; The adventures of Kitten. Maybe make up a whole story and have Joshua illustrate it. Maybe even a children's book, stop being so naughty and just pare it down to pure, plain innocent fun, which could be great. I also wish to continue my collaborations with Monique Motile, who's a costumer. I'm also reaching out to other costumers in the field. I'm going to be working with Trannyshack costumer extraordinaire Glamormore aka Mr David, who just sews for everybody. He just is an amazing, amazing designer. He's going to make me something for my photo shoot in Monaco. So I'm very excited about that. I just want to keep collecting songs, I want to continue to write songs. I have many, many, many things on the back burner, just notebooks full of ideas. I've a song written about Liberace, which is exciting because I love the big, grandiose silliness and showmanship of Liberace. I have a song about trepanning, which is about the practice of boring holes in your skull, to give your brain a little air. Songs about a lot of other stuff. I just want to get it out there and have a lot of fun with it. I wouldn't mind doing a one woman show called Kitty Glitter. That's also something that I've written. I've been so busy lately. Maybe when I get back from France and maybe when Tease-o-Rama is over, which is going to be in San Francisco, which is delightful. I found out that I'm in the hot seat again as the MC, which is great and I think all of this has taught me that maybe I want to do my own talk show and have all sorts of different characters especially like old burlesque stars from the past coming on talking about what they do and then having new performers do things. I would love to have a fun variety talk show on cable access. So that's also something that's in the works. Oh my god, when you hear, "We have some very exciting developments on the backburner," it's like now I know when people say that, what that means. Lots of idea, it's just having them germinate and grow into something. I'm hoping after Tease-o-Rama some new fresh ideas will be out there for me and my performing.
ZVB: Do you have a regular playbill for your fans to go see you at?
Kitten: I usually tickle the ivories at the Rite Spot Cafe in the Mission District once a month. I have been playing there for over 3 years! The piano is really, really outta tune and lousy but it seems to lend itself to my kinky kitschy cabaret ditties and flapperette charmers. I get to bring my stuffed animal companions to stick on the piano to gussy the place up and provide me with the comforts of a teenagers bedroom for when I get nervous. The Rite Spot is a great place to experiment, to bring in new material, try out new instruments, guffaws and giggles! The shows are free and I can scurry through the crowd and flirt and beg for tips. The one drawback is that my back is to the crowd. A lot of my charm is my tortured face contortions which I can still do since I have not succumbed to the lure of Botox.
I am an occasional Trannyshack Performer. I do tons of benefits with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence! I got to do an outdoor festival on Easter Sunday with them! Happy Keister Funday! I do many sex positive cabarets. They can handle the kinkier stuff! I always like to add a little male booty into the mix. My fave sexy, straight man I collaborate with is Roky Roulette; The World's Only Pogo Strip Tease Artist. When he is not licking cupcakes off my toes in a pig snout bra for my toe fetish song; "Bare My Sole", he is my 6 packed abed Jesus with a "host" stuck in his nappy pubic hair for me to nibble for my song "Lonesome Valley", a true story about how I would have sexual fantasies about Jesus during my prepubescent formative years as a dancer in an interpretive dance troupe in the 70's called the Earthen Vessels. We would wear brown Danskin leotards that would show our areolas. The church elders were appalled by our budding breasts. I thought Jesus had a nice package. So does Roky Roulette and I am honored he shares the stage with me in my sinful silly romps.
I perform a lot with the award winning burlesque troupe, The Lollies. We do some fun, sexy numbers together from old musicals and more. Right now we are both involved in an ongoing show at the Plush Room in the York Hotel in San Francisco. The show is called "Dirty Little Secret". It has a speakeasy, vaudeville theme, awash with liquor, a boozy band (that is wonderful), dancing girls, magic, comedy, expensive bathtub gin, and singers. I get to do a variety of things from playing the accordion (Kitten On the Squeeze) to my original; "Granny Sells My Panties On E-Bay" (we throw out Dirty Little Secret Kitty Granny Panties that are stuffed into my ruffled drawers) to being KiKi Kakane, a slutty Hawaiian gal who strums here uke and sings 20's songs as the gorgeous Lollies hand out leis to the audience. A special wigglin' wahine, the very large MC RJ Owens (he's at least 400 lbs and he lets me glitter up his boobies), lovingly acts out the words to "Hilo Hattie". The show is really fun and I am delighted that such a nice, "pretentious"
venue lets me act out some of my wilder fantasies on stage!
I have also been involved with Tease-O-Rama, Miss Exotic World, and The New York Burlesque Festival. I just adore the large gatherings of gals and glitter! The Cabaret New Burlesque Show that I have done in France twice, is supposed to be heading back to Europe in late June! My paws are crossed for that one! I cannot wait to go back to Europe where I feel I am really appreciated. I just got two more articles from a Parisian Rock Magazine! Lil of piano playin' uke strummin accordion squeezin' vibe buzzin' ME! I love it!
I have a new project called the Mud Flappers. It is a busking street performance, roving vaudeville cabaret featuring myself and the uber talented artist and performer Miss Rodney Austin, The Chick With the Great Big Dick! Minnie Pearl Necklace was a common site in front of the Castro theater in the 90's. Our stage is where ever we throw our glitter. We are inspired by Pippi Longstocking, Hof Braus, Little Marcy, Demon Dolly Parton, and Annette Hanshaw. Our rehearsals have been over the phone lines which has been really fun! We are getting little battery powered amps and megaphones for the uke and vocals. Our set includes gender bending country songs; My Son Calls A Lesbian Daddy, Hank Williams and songs that were banned from the Disney film Bambi. (Twitterpated). Our combined kookiness and tongue in cheek humor will hopefully keep the tourists and natives happy.
ZVB: Have you been developing any new acts or talents?
Kitten: Being a Gemini, I am a natural communicator. I love conveying messages with my acts no matter how silly they may seem. You can make anything `art' if you elevate it to that level. You dub in art then it is art! A great example of this is a simple one off act called Master of Puppets. I performed at Tease-o-rama 2005 with Boylesque Rock Star Roky Roulette. The image was so big and awesome. Roky played the puppet master on stilts with a at tall marching band hat, he was about 9 feet tall. I played the stripper puppet with a fabulous rip away gown made by Trannyshack seamstress extraordinaire Glamamore or Mr. David. As I strip to pasties and undies by the evil puppet master's sparkling strings, I gain power to pick up Pepto Bismol pink hedge sheers which cut my marionette tethers and reverse roles on the puppet master. I pants him revealing a glittering g-string with a sausage tassel that hung to his knees. Twirl for me baby! (Laughs). A little revenge of the Burly Q Doll. Also I've been Mc'ing as of November 2005. Though the male performers nastiness towards my public popularity is the strangest feeling, to have several men give me shit for getting great gigs over them. They feel that an MC's job belongs to a man, they want the job and feel that they are superior. I say they are wrong. I am a Femme C, bringing some feline to the mic, something with a new twist. I had certain individuals try to fake me out into hiring me away so they could take my big Burlesque show MC. I think it is great to have women announcing other women. I recently MC'd for a huge arts organization in San Francisco, laughingsquid.com, all the women and men on the board of Directors were super happy a woman was in the Captain's chair announcing the acts for a change. This was a great feeling.
ZVB: The first famous stripper Ann Corio had explained the secret to her success, "Make yourself as feminine-looking as you can. Go in for a lot of frills, furs, ruffles and parasols. Always put everything you have into your work to put it over. Don't take off your panties, it makes a girl's figure look prettier to have those little gadgets on." Do you have a secret to your success? A motto or axiom for girls to live by when performing?
Kitten: I have a couple. One is, I love to sparkle. I used to be such a drab, drab person and have such a limited color palate. I've just really gotten into color and pizzazz lately. The more I perform, the more I love it. I just took my color movies, seeing old movies brought out this love for me. I really do believe boy panties are sexier, to leave a little more up to the imagination. I also love including a merkin, a little pubic cover, having them fun, like for Easter I do little Easter baskets with peeps. I also like to make silly pasties. I'll take candy, stuffed animals and make really silly but sexy pasties and merkins. That's part of the fun. Also wearing lots of rhinestones and putting glitter on your boobs. I also think having cute pasties or really sexy pasties are a really good thing. Because after all people want to see boobs. Boobs are good! I hate it when I have pastie accidents, some people love it. I've had a double pastie accident at the Eagle and they didn't care, some men loved it. But I'm like, this is illegal, it's a beer bust..ahh! A motto for girls to live by, I really think wardrobe is important. You know a lot of legends of burlesque down at Exotic World, when you talk to them, wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe is was so essential. I met this wonderful woman Ricky Cortez who started dancing in 1946 and Ricky showed me some of her old jewelry from the 40s that she had purchased, that are just gorgeous pieces. She's like, I'll never get rid of these! I can see why. She still has Eisenburg Ice earrings and necklaces that cost 100s of dollars even back in the day, so you can imagine what they're worth now and they're just rhinestones!
Kitten on the Keys: I started performing at the tender age of three, as an angel in a nativity play at church. My mom was so embarrassed because I sang; Away in a Manger, louder than anyone and got bored and sat on my butt below the cross belting at earplug volume. Next was a second grade Partridge Family-esque lip syncing family act called the Stars. We had foxy matching red, white and blue star pants and vests. I am dying to get my hands on some of those old photos. I believe I also played the tambourine. In school I made cockroach carnivals from kitchen appliances and made my own soundtracks using cut up 1/4" tape. I was trying to be very William Burroughs of the audio set.
8th Grade Talent show I got daring. My favorite band was Queen whom no one had heard of. I played Bohemian Rhapsody and people talked throughout my performance. I was so bummed and the music teacher kept yelling at everyone to shut up. Bohemian Rhapsody is kind of long so I guess I bored the audience. As an adult I get the last laugh though, people love it when I do that song now. Makes me feel so much better from the chatter shame I experienced as a pre-teen. Freddie Mercury is still one of my fave 'female' role models!
At 13, I was forced into the school band because I had a good ear. My dad was the school music teacher in the next county over. I think that had a lot to do with it. I was forced into marching band, which totally embarrassed me. The crotch of the pants went all the way to my knees and my galoshes were oh so big. I played the glockenspiel and we practiced for weeks. I had my first experience smoking pot the big night of the Homecoming game. I didn't know better and smoked 14 joints with my kooky girlfriend. Her mom grew it and was president of the Garden Club. Boy, was I a disoriented drugged out pre-teen. Whoopsy! Next came a silly musical venture where I actually got paid to play at parties and such in a cover band called Forum. The band was formed with the nerdy foreign kids from, High School who were not allowed to go play outside but had to stay in and practice scales on their violins. We played at school dances. Our AC/DC covers rocked with our Yugoslavian toe head Bon Scott sound alike. We also played a ton of Who. "Won't get fooled again" was my shining spot on the keyboards, Riannon , and more! Some scary stuff! I went to college at San Francisco State University but was not good enough for the Music Department. I was crushed, so I started a band with a girl from drama class called the White Stains. Surrealistic speed psychosis silliness. We made the top ten on a few college stations and did an EP. I don't think anyone bought it. I did a show at KUSF not long ago and DJ Stereo Steve brought one by! Whoa Nelly, did that bring back some scary memories. You can still find the White Stains EP for a quarter in some record shops.
Then I played in a druggie band with Courtney Love, Kat Bjelland, Jennifer Finch and many others who dropped like flies. We went into the studio and I have some pretty funny stuff on tape, very Cocteau Twins-esque. Pretty and fluttery. Courtney could not sing but boy could she manipulate like a master! Those were some drug taking hard times. Things went really wrong with that relationship and I stopped performing in bands and switched to working in vintage clothing stores instead. Courtney spread rumors I had died in a drug over dose. Not the nicest thing for a band mate to say. I get to laugh at these old tapes though. That proves I'm still alive. All I listened to was 20s stuff like Ruth Etting, Billie Holiday, Annette Hanshaw, Mae West, etc. Someone asked me to model vintage clothing since I was drug skinny for an AIDS benefit and they heard me tinkering on the piano. No one knew I could play. Someone suggested I learn Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, and Gershwin so I could make money at dinner parties and cocktail hours. So I did it!
I quit music but started playing again when I heard I could make money playing at events. Anything to get me off my butt to make music again. I worked in a cool vintage clothing store called the Third Hand Store. All we listened to was old stuff. We dressed up everyday and lived in a magical old world. I started playing for Historical Societies and Vintage re-creation groups. My faves were old Weimar Cabaret Tunes, Kurt Weill, Tin Pan Alley, and the older jazz standards. I perfected my piano playing in rest homes. They all loved the old songs! I started voraciously collecting dirty ditties from Peter Mintun of Cockettes fame and Bob Grimes, San Francisco's super music collector. Paul Nathan had me play at his early Dark Kabarets at Cafe Du Nord. I got asked to play for some shows as "Squirmyrufflebutt". I wasn't even Kitten on the Keys yet. I met the Lollies while playing for them at Cafe Du Nord. They actually allowed me to sing! I never sang before I met Harvest Moon of the Lollies. She gave me my first shot and next thing you know, I am singing at the Great American Music Hall! I am fascinated by the Music Hall's haunted show girls past.
Kitten On the Keys, the name comes from a 1921 piano rag novelty piece by Zez
Confrey. It felt like my crazy mind; A zillion little paws pouncing on the keys and making a racket! I don't really feel like I have a famous persona due to very low self esteem issues that are very deeply rooted. But I do think I knew people liked me as a performer when I mentioned my cravings for salty meats and someone from the very large crowed yelled, "We Love You Kitten." Wow, that was overwhelming and for a moment I felt really positive about my silliness and girlie roundness! I actually graduated Cum Laude with a BA in "interdisciplinary" Art from SFSU. I graduated a semester late because I was having "health issues". I remember wearing really shiny shoes to the graduation and had a different colored tassel because my grades were good. Boy, my mama was proud. I was pretty fucked up on drugs during the later part of my student career, so I am amazed I graduated or am even alive. I tried to go back to Grad school but things got in the way, so to speak. I have actually been formally trained in the school of hard knocks, kneepads, toilet bowls, street pharmacology and hypochondrism.
ZVB: Do you come from a family of performers? Who first introduced you to the stage, especially vaudeville or burlesque?
Kitten: I do sorta come from a family of performers. As a child my mother, named
Lawanda Earlene Wamble, imitated Sophie Tucker at Lions Club's events in South East Missouri. I think she was nine. She was a beauty queen, Miss Sweet Corn, was a drum majorette for the marching band, played Snow White with all the trills and frills in the school plays, and was an oft requested religious soloist in church. The last time she sang a solo in public, she was nine months pregnant with me. She always had such a sing songy lyrical way of speaking. Growing up she always sang in the church choir. She told me near the end of her life that she lacked the self-esteem to really continue with her singing in the big city in California. She was a simple country girl. She was so proud of me playing and singing. Oh boy, if she really knew what I was doing with the piano. Several "fans" have commented, "Your poor parents! I guess they never thought you would do that with all of those piano lessons!" I interviewed her before she passed away last week (October 2004) and I found out that many of her relatives played piano and guitar and fiddle on the front porch in Missouri. I scanned a couple photos, which are so cool to me because I never knew. I never knew about her Sophie Tucker imitations either! I have recently gathered a lot of Sophie's music to add it into my act.
My Dad was always known as the performer in the family. He was a crossed eyed kid from Missouri named Shirley Ross Ramsey. Poor guy. A bandleader paid for him to get his eyes fixed as a young teen and he went out on the road playing drums as Oz Ramsey and has some great road stories and of bump and grind "tails". To pay off the bandleader, my daddy graduated school at 15 and went on the road in 'Big Bands to play the Chicago to Texas circuit, which included many an old Burly House. Funny, he played at Girlie Shows and Burlesque houses at fifteen in Missouri, Illinois, Texas, and other places to pay the guy off for his operation. Dad got drafted and played clarinet in the Korean War. He joined the Air Force and I found some really hilarious photos of him and his Air Force band mates dressed up in very silly outfits that looked very 1920's to play at Officers balls and such. They held dances in Korea, in an out door stage called the Kimchee Korral and I think he even filled in for some Shriners in TX, for some booze. I love those Fez photos with the peculiar drawn on mustache. He was not shy and wore some very silly clothes! Makes me wonder about my Dad, he really is a grumpy lump but he does have some great music war stories! It was my dad who always encouraged me to do my Shirley Temple imitations. He always said that was my ticket to the big time, as a joke. I would cut Sunday School to watch Shirley Temple films Sunday mornings. She was my super hero! Who needs Jesus? I want singing and tap dancing, ponies and ducks that lay eggs! Again, if my dad only knew about my Shirley Temple Strip Tease. I have done the Shirley routine so much I've been through 2 costumes and 3 wigs!
ZVB: What type of musical background do you have? Have you been formally trained in any of the theater arts?
Kitten: As a kid I was a member of the Walnut Creek Children's Theater. Not really a school but I spent so much time there. Sang and played instruments in church for years, while smoking pot and being tres bulimic. I worked on these Christian Orphanages in Mexico every year, drank tons of beer, barfed up my food, smuggled pot in deodorized tampons, worked in the hot sun and could not show my shoulders due to reserved Mexican morals. I was also in an interpretive dance troupe in church called the Earthen Vessels. We wore brown Danskin leotards and skirts. The elders in the church got really mad when our budding nubile nipples showed through the tight leotards. I think we danced to a bible verse about Ezekiel and dry bones. I felt like I was in a Halloween pageant. I loved it. It was awful and so dorky. I almost got kicked out of the church for asking too many questions they could not answer. I also changed all the genders in the Bible verses. Made more sense to me. Don't fuck with the bible! Also my little bro and I, while on a nice sibling hike, found the Youth Pastors stash of pot plants growing! Ooopsie! Being druggies at an early age, we couldn't help ourselves and our junior botany collections. The hippie preacher found out we had sticky green thumbs and told my mother I barfed up all my food on the beach in Ensenada. I didn't have the flu or wanted to be born again. I just wanted to be skinny and to get the cheesy Mexican food and beer outta me.
My mom signed me up for some silly acting classes where I was a corrective shoe wearing kid with glasses and braces. My first big role was a possum in this horrid super furry gray outfit. Plushies anyone? I was your typical kid who took piano lessons. I didn't learn anything because I am dyslexic and have Hyperactivity and ADD. But somehow was able to play. Instinct. All the cute little girls in my neighborhood were always comparing with me. How does she do it? It even befuddled many a competitive parent. What soul! What depth and emotion. What lousy time and blab, blab, blab. I hated the comparisons. I would feign illness every Tuesday, which was piano lesson day. I would skip school and stay in bed all day with the covers over my head. I had such horrible anxiety over it. I felt less than and sucky. Hated it. And on top of that, had a bandleader, music teacher father who taught me nothing. Zip. Zero. Just told me how bad I was. Asshole. I am playing a Schubert piano Concerto at 14. Fuck you. He didn't like another player in the family to take attention away from him. My dad is pretty narcissistic like my ex-husband. They want to be the center of attention. Instead of being proud of my pseudo show biz career, they are jealous.
My mom always thought I was an artsy fartsy gal and was kind enough to encourage me in the dramatic arts as a teen. I went to three semesters at American Conservatory Theater's Young Conservatory in the late 70's. I met tons of punk rockers, saw John Water's films, and Pier Pasolini's Salo-120 days of Sodom. Pretty disturbing stuff as a thirteen year old. But I sat through Divine's doggie poo poo eating. The Pasolini film is another story but it showed me a different side of life. I got to share and hear new music from my new city pals who didn't like Journey. I met one life long friend in those classes. He's been in tons of films and used to own a theater off Broadway in NY. I love him dearly and we love to think of those nights on BART going back to our warm suburban homes in the East Bay. One night going home, we saw a businessman nonchalantly open his brief case, vomit into it, acting like nothing happened what so ever. He got off the BART, briefcase dripping stomach acids and more. We cannot forget that story. I won tickets to a Black Flag concert by repeating that story to Dez on the air at KUSF. The question was what is the weirdest thing you have seen on BART? I won and got to talk to Black Flag on the air and go see them live. That was a big deal for me way back when. My pal comes to the shows I do in NY. He's so proud of me! I love it.
ZVB: You've performed with many bands, the Frisky Frolics, Tin Pan Alley Vaudeville
Review to name a few. How many bands have you worked with and which are your favorites?
Kitten: The Bands I have been in range from school bands in 8th grade (we even made a record! Hippie dippie! Yet Jazzy!). Marching Band. Forum, cover band, we played AC/DC and the Who. Acalanes High School Jazz band. I played on the Disneyland Stage and won the Louis Armstrong Jazz Musicianship Award my senior year in High School. Couple go nowhere punk bands. The White Stains, all girl speed freak psychedelic stoopidness. Sugar Baby Doll, Sugar Babylon, both with Courtney Love and others in the 80's. Mecurians, we made a 45 in the 90's. San Francisco's Famous Burlesque Orchestra; lead vocalist and pianist. I just quit in August 2004 to take care of my mom. The Haters; played in Japan, Vienna, lots of other places. As a Hateress, I played amplified hole punch and much, much more! Did a very funny Madonna tribute CD and Warlock Pinchers cover for their Tribute CD. Frisky Frolics; we won a Bay Guardian Best Of the Bay Award. Kitten on the Keys with AMK (avant garde turntablist); mini CD to come out on Banned Productions later this year. This was such a cool project recorded over 5 years ago with Zipper Spy. Kitten On the Keys Solo; hey I won a SF Weekly Music Award as Best Band to Cure Post Dot Corn depression! I have also recorded 3 CD's, hard to believe!
I have also collaborated with gender bending performance artist Vinsantos and Peaches Christ on several occasions in film, live theater and music. I am currently performing with Rodney Austin, the chick with the great big dick in a 1920s tribute duo called the Mud Flappers. We just performed at Visual Aid's Sweet 16 Party and teamed up with the Lollies for a film and strip tease night of pre-code Paramount shorts and naughty dance at the Balboa Theater in SF. I just played piano and glockenspiel for Dr. Elmo of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" fame. What a sweetheart! Smiles. It was wealthy novelty songwriter vs. poor novelty songwriter! Fun!
The most fun I have in bands is when my usual solo songs come alive with all these different parts. While on tour with Burlesquefest 2003, the fabulous band "Devotchka" from Colorado played; "Grandma sells my panties on E-Bay." A song from my second CD. Their instrumentation of drums, sousaphone, accordion, and Russian sounding guitar turned the knobs to 11 in my brain and helped to realize my dream! I always felt like cabaret stage diving in my little girl's dress Monique Motile made me. I would run through certain audiences and stuff my "Pink Pussy Panties" for men, in cool audience member's mouths! Woo hoo! I love having my hands free from instruments sometimes to go absolutely nuts. Having bands back me up is super duper exiting for me. The new CD I am planning for 2006 will definitely include a cornucopia of talented musical super stars helping me flesh out my songs to their finest potential. The first few CDs I did, I had to play every instrument, talk about being a control freak! Now I can relax and concentrate on delegating tasks to some great musicians! Frank Novicki of APE fame is even writing some new material for me! He's fabulous! He will be playing Uke on the upcoming CD. I'm so honored.
I have recently sung with cabaret bands the Cottontails, The Filthy Four and the Eric McFadden Experience. Each band member brings a different element to my super simple, silly songs. Having band members frees me up to solely concentrate on the vocals and
dancing. I feel like each song is a little theatrical sketch complete with choreography and fabulous costumes. I mean, it's a vaudeville sketch!
ZVB: When you perform you combine the old burly routine of comedy, strip, comedy, strip. You play piano with a kitty puppet on one hand! Tell jokes about 'pussies' and various other 'naughty' bits, dance and sing. When did you first start doing the kitten act? You also play many other instruments like the accordion. What other instruments are you accomplished at? What other complicated scenarios can you pull off?
Kitten: I think I combine many things with my performances. I didn't start out trying to do these things, I kinda morphed as I went along!' I am a silly songstress, who changes from sick little girl to howler monkey. Some say I am a performance artist, I think I am capable of doing many things at once. I am thrilled with my ability to multi task. I am so revved up! I think being a manic-depressive who needs lotsa love drives me to do what I do! I have so many ideas swirling around in my brain, sometimes I can bust them out and other times I am lucky if anything comes out. I am good on my toes, off the cuff is easier for me than scripted items. The synapses work best somehow when under pressure! I need the adrenaline to get me going. I started out working in vintage clothing stores lusting after period glamour and bouncing around to toe tapping melodies of yesteryear. Combined with a wicked sense of naughty humor, which I have had since I was a little kid. I actually made a girl faint in the girl's bathroom in second grade. She hit her head on the sink and had to go to the hospital, all before lunch! I think it had to something to do with hickeys. I just got started playing the glockenspiel with Dr. Elmo and my mini Hello Kitty pianos mixed with vintage mini Casios!
ZVB: What type of audience do you usually attract? You really encourage audience participation and sing alongs. What was one of the most memorable shows you've done with a large audience?
Kitten: I attract a varied audience. I was very lucky that my sense of naughtiness was very accepted in the Burlesque Revival. I have had success performing with the Girly Freak Show thanks to Slymenstra Hymen and Cammanda Galactica, Dirty Little Secret at the Plush Room, SF Famous Burlesque Revue and Fisherman's Famous Burlesque, as a torch singer for the Lollies and pianist in the band (this isn't really my crowd for my own material), some comedy shows like me but not all get it! I am much better off with gay crowds than straight crowds when it comes to comedy. Some music people hate me because I am too kitschy and that my shows are too theatrical and too sexual, some say I am a performance artist. Cabaret new Burlesque in France was amazing for me. I got great press and the French loved my wacky sense of humor and overt sexuality and stupidity. I can't wait to go back to Europe this year. The Odeon is always a great "burning man" crowd. Chicken John has been excellent to me. I did my CD release party there for Pretty Princess Day. The Lollies and Roky Roulette jumped out of a giant pink cake! It was truly great. I also love playing live on the radio. KUSF, KZSU, WFMU, and Radio Nova Paris have been fab. I also like Liberation Radio and Pirate Cat radio. I even did Playboy Radio with Catherine D'Lish and Dita Von Teese. Sometimes in Burlesque Shows I am-the, filler while the cute girls go change into something sexy. I am lucky that this gives me stage time to be raunchy and silly. While touring the US and Canada with Burlesquefest as the musical mistress of ceremonies, I got to really hone my people skills and musical skills. Half the fun is fucking with the audience and making silly faces to make people laugh. I am so gonna need 20 liters of Botox, I have such a rubbery mug! One of my video/audio projects in school was about a demented Victorian little girl who was obsessed with rotisserie chickens turning on their spits, hanging BBQ'd ducks in Oakland's China town, and an unsupervised video diary at the SF Zoo, where I chased emus and Canadian geese around with a large butcher knife. Not a shining moment in art history.
Part of the project included fictitious lost pet posters. I lost a bunch of animals like Binky the Pet pigeon from Union Square! The Emu Leopold was 5 ft tall and escaped from my trunk. people actually contacted me and claimed to have "found" my pretend lost pets. It was amazing how many people claimed they saw an EMU running around Market and 5th. Herb Caen got a hold of one of the lost pigeon posters and had a field day with his `rats with wings' overpopulated pigeon poop rants in the Chronicle.
I can play the accordion while singing the Hokey Pokey and stripping. I had never ever quite finished rehearsing this number when it came down to removing my padded bra, I got a wee bit concerned about the bellows pinching my bejeweled nipples. This was both exciting and terrifying at the same time to be trying something new in public. My encrusted nipples had a major collision with the accordion. This pastie accident left some damaged debris and very sore nipples for days! Beyond salvageable pasties and a nasty ass boobie crush to boot! Ah, just another example of disturbing yet delightful unintentional self-destruction! Another beautiful gem of unrehearsed agony. Now that's what it's all about! Ouchers!
Mr. Buzzy Happiness is a song I wrote from my second CD that has 3 vibrators going all at once while I play piano and sing. I wrote the song after a shopping excursion in Tokyo yielded a bumper crop of Hello Kitty Vibrators. I extracted some "Engrish" from the internet and made a delightful ditty that really gets you go go going. Every Cabaret performer needs a cute sex toy that matches her outfit. I bought a Hello Kitty baby pink piano to match the vibrator so between the sex toys, the public humiliation of masturbating in public ups the rush and exhilaration on stage. I finish this song out with a buzzy, gushy version of Minnie Ripperton's "Loving You". I love it when the audience sings alongs and knows whata masterful multi-tasker and multi-instrumentalist I am! Hitting a high "A" while having the 3 vibrators going makes me feel, good. I do a cover of Journey's "Lights" while being burned with hot candle wax. I have some funny scars from one Odeon performance. For a toe fetish song, "Bare My Sole", from my latest CD. I have audience members dressed in little piggy tails and ears while they lick frosting or shrimp cocktail sauce off my toes as I sing and play. Sometimes I sneak a little cover of Kiss, "Lick it up". My new number from my one woman show "Kitty Glitter" boasts a song called "Leather Daddy" with a butt cheek `drum' solo!
ZVB: Any other shows have you done you'd like to mention?
Kitten: Other shows that have been great to me, Trannyshack and Viva Variety. I was even a contestant in the Ms Trannyshack pageant with my kooky "Pretty Princess Day" number complete with matching hot pink toy piano. That was the year a real woman won Fauxnique. She's amazing. Her Elton John lip sync was so fabulous it brought tears to my eyes. Steve Murray's Viva Variety is a queer friendly cabaret at various theaters in SF. He just had his 50th and final show. It was great to be reviewed in the gay rags, I adore it. I think queer and queer friendly audiences are the bee's knees. I do a lot of shows with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Since my mom died of breast cancer, every year the Lollies and I combine fab feminine forces and dance and sing to raise fund for women going through cancer treatments. We have raised money for "Looking good, feeling Fab"; and organization that buys wigs and prosthetic breasts. It feels good to raise money for those in need. The Sisters do it better than anyone! Easter 2005 I got to sing my naughty Jesus song in Dolores Park. I kept having technical difficulties with my keyboard. I think someone up there didn't want me singing smutty songs with a bunch of hairy men in nun habits! The sisters are super supportive of my best pal's cool band, Polkacide.
ZVB: Did you have a mentor or inspiration for the work you do? Who was your favorite performer in vaudeville and burlesque?
Kitten: Gypsy Rose Lee's biography is inspirational! Freddie Mercury, Liberace, Sophie Tucker, Fannie Brice, Alice Cooper, Mae West, Diamanda Galas, Ute Lemper, David Bowie Fannie Brice and Mae West are my fave Burlesque/Vaudeville Performers. I am also really into Shirley Temple. She did these films in the early 30's called Baby Burlesques. All she had on was a diaper with a huge diaper pin. Pretty scandalous with all of the child porn scares. I've just been turned on to Eva Tanguay. Flamboyant singer, comedian, who was outrageous, unpredictable and the highest paid Vaudeville performer. I like Bessie Smith's blues and Julia Lee's later Boogie Woogie piano playing and daring lyrics.
I think the most risque stuff was performed in Weimar Berlin. I think they really pushed the envelope with drugs, sexuality, homosexuality, musical experimentation etc. I am supposed to go to Berlin in Summer 2005. I am so excited! I love Misha Spolianski's Songs from that period like, "I Am A Vamp". I love Ann Corio and absolutely adore her book. I am one of those performers who has to wear the double eyelashes. I have really big eyes so to accentuate 'em I double the lashes, top and bottom. I think it is also very flapperesque. I also think being a bit of a glittery bitch is great. Swarovski crystal flatback rhinestones look good on everything! decorating my wardrobe even my ukulele and accordion with aurora borealis rhinestones is my key to success. Because if you sound lousy, at least you'll look good sounding bad! Sometimes I sniff too much glue while trying to make everything look fabulous. Woozy head and aching liver, all to look pretty.
ZVB: With all the banning that went on in the early years like with the Dept of Licenses, Federation of Women's Clubs, etc, which era do you think was most risqué for naughty acts, the 20s, 30s or 40s? If you could go back in time and chose to work in any one of those which would they be? What circuit would you work and with which company?
Kitten: As far as the circuit I would have liked to have performed on from yesteryear, I would say I would like to be on the carnival circuit! Listening to Tom Waits, the Tiger Lillies, Nick Cave and the like, plus reading Geek Love set a tone in me a long time ago. There is a great book; "Girl Show-Into The Canvas World Of The Bump And Grind" by AW Stencell, that has been very inspirational to me. There is a whole section on water shows, not pee shows like my Jon Bennet Ramsey Shame extravaganza that I did for Dadafest but aquatic shows in the midway that were popular for several years. Coney Island, diving gals, seals, underwater strip teases, "mermaids, World's Fairs etc. intrigue me. I think the show I would have liked to have been in would have been Salvador Dali's Dream of Venus Show during the 1939 World's Fair in NY. For a quarter, semi-nude gals dove and swam in a large tank with glass sides depicting Dali's dreamy surrealist landscapes. Wow. To be Dali's Dolly. I have a tattoo of Venus on the Half Shell on my hip. It was one of my first tattoos I ever got. I think her shell could use a little touch up. The aquacade has always lured me. When I was first getting into performing I was asked to perform for a historical recreation society in the East Bay. I got to wear a vintage bathing suit and parade around with a big gold beach ball. The guest of honor was the one and only Esther Williams! She was in town to launch her new vintage bathing suit line at Macy's. The show was on Treasure Island and it was honoring 50 years of the World's Fair, and the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges. While learning about the 1939 World's Fair and the Aquacade, I found out that Sally Rand performed there! She had her own "dude" ranch which was dubbed the "nude ranch", where gals rode naked on donkeys for the viewer's amusement! Carnival shows seemed like such a sub-culture that I would have fit into as a performer!
I think I would not have minded being a Minsky Girl in the late 20s. It seems that the Minsky shows were super lavish and had a lot of women in them. Also they could guarantee a living wage for performers back then. A lot of theaters folded and couldn't meet the pay scale. A lot of comics and a lot of women had a lot of work at the Apollo Theater through the Minsky's, so I can see working for the Minksy's as early as 1928, I know they went on and on and on and were quite successful. That would have allowed me to continue my craft. Although I still find the best fascination with Weimar Berlin, the 20s and 30s, with all the drugs and homo-eroticism. I love that whole era. I was in a show a long time ago through the Goethe Institute and through Mel Gordon who is an author, who did Voluptuous Panic and his partner did Hot Girls of Weimar Berlin. They were the directors of the show, it was a sex museum and cabaret and I was the musician, I was the pianist. It was way before I sang or did anything, I played my heart out. I used this vintage masturbation machine while I played the piano dressed like a little sailorette, kind of like my nymphet Shirley Temple thing. It was funny, it ended up on HBO Real Sex too, so I guess I was doing something right. That was a long time ago, I'd have to find the program to tell you what year that was. I also think having an act on the Orpheum Circuit during the Vaudeville heyday would have been great. Blossom Seely is another role model for her belting vocal quality. She's pre-Ethel Merman.
ZVB: Which naughty ballads do you really enjoy performing? Do you write any
yourself? Have you taken any famous songs and changed them with your own naughty ad libs? Which ones were they?
Kitten: I think the very first naughty ballad I ever performed has to be the 1920s classic My Girl's Pussy. I heard it off of an R. Crumb album, one of the Cheap Suit Serenaders sang it and I just fell in love with that song. I worked with this guy at a vaudeville show up in Sacramento and he made a tape of all this really silly, fun stuff. I loved that song and I figured it out and I performed it for the first time by myself, oh my god I feel like such a big girl, at Tease-o-Rama in New Orleans. That was really, really fun. I got a little tiny cameo spot. Since then I have actually written a few little naughty songs. I think people like to be naughty and to be silly and to think about making sex silly. The first song I ever wrote was called "Rice Rocket Boy" and it was about cute Asian boys in my neighborhood, (I live in the Sunset) and their crazy cars. These kids get killed all the time in these cars. Oh my god, they're just supped up trick Toyotas. I found it really silly, I wrote a song about them. I wrote a song "Granny Sells My Panties on Ebay". Which has always been a big hit. I like to dress up different people as grandmom that come and pull my panties off and shove them down my mouth or throw them out in the audience. I think that's fun. As far as naughty ad libs, I'd say there are quite a few of those. I'd say my favorite song was Lights by Journey. My partner in crime Mr. Tinkler had some burning candles and those were the lights and I pretended that I couldn't read the music and to keep holding the lights up, which were the candles near to me and he accidentally burned me with the wax. (laughs loudly) It was my punishment for playing such a bad song as Journey's Lights. I don't know, but it got me into playing that song and people love it. I also do, Minnie Ripperton's Loving You, while using a vibrator. Helps me reach the high notes. Bohemian Rhapsody, David Bowie. I mean nothing is left untouched. I often get bored and need to amuse myself while playing and performing. Nothing Compares To You, that's another one by Prince. Oh my goodness I love that.
Some of my favorite double entendre songs happen to be the old Hapa Haole Hawaiian songs. They were written by white people who included a few Hawaiian words. I love that song, I play it on my Uke; "Princess Papule's got plenty of Papaya and she loves to give it away". That's a song from the 20s and Pupule means crazy in Hawaiian but actually good crazy, happy crazy. So Miss Princess Papule is always giving away her Papayas. I also love the song; When Hilo Hattie does the Hilo Hop. Hilo Hattie was actually a real character of the Islands, like a cigar smokin' Grammy. I think they ended up naming a chain of stores after her in Hawaii, which is kinda sad but it keeps the name going. Other songs I like to stroke on the Uke. Ukulele Lady is really, really fun and I often like to have drag queens and drag kings come in and be Hula girls and get the audience to participate because everybody loves to hula. I have recently employed the 400 pound girth of magician R Jowens to be one of my Hula gals along with the Lollies. His sock garters and skirt rule!
ZVB: Do you have beginners in the business who ask for your advice? What would you say the 'perks' and pitfalls are when working burlesque?
Kitten: I would say when I was on tour back in 2002, every single show I would go out to sell merchandise, which is a great way to meet people, help pay for a tour and have a little spending money so you can get steak instead of French fries or fries with your Big Mac, whatever you want (laughs). It's very inspiring, the new burlesque really inspires women. I think everybody has a bit of a naughty streak and exhibitionistic streak and it's so much fun it's infectious. You have great artists like Dita Von Tease and Catherine D'Lish and Dirty Martini and the currently crowned Miss Exotic World; Michelle Toots L'amour, who are actually great dancers and great performers and they just have a certain special something in them that you can't just do. You have to be born with that special something. I think anybody can become a burlesque performer if they want to. I think it's an attitude and in the wardrobe. I don't mean to keep pressing the whole wardrobe thing but I'm kind tired of going to shows and seeing people in their Target underwear and no spanglies. I like to see a little effort be made. If it's like a narrative dance that includes maybe some clothing that isn't shiny or fancy, well that's fine but I think it would be really, really nice to show a little effort. What I generally say is, try to find like-minded people in the area. I say go for it. Whether it be a rock club or a movie theater, get a little act together, even just a 15 minute act. Go to your local rock club or your local strip club or your local movie theatre that shows midnight movies or cult films and see if they'll let you on the bill. I think that's a good way to start. I also think that with the advantage of the internet, it's great get on the Tease-o-Rama group or the Miss Exotic World groups. The yahoo groups are great in keeping people in touch. Also I have to hand it to the Pontani Sisters, Luke and Laura of the Exotic World, people like the Lucha Va Voom, Fluff Girl Burlesque. People that put on traveling shows and or put on conventions are great in getting people together.
So that's my advice to new comers. I say get involved. You might even donate your time and be a volunteer the first time around and see how things are done. Meet people and learn. I've met so many awesome new girls at Miss Exotic World this year that weren't there last year. Some great new people from Las Vegas, San Diego, Minneapolis. It's great to have them on board. I would say the perks of being involved in burlesque is you get to wear costumes and you get to play dress up and you get to travel and meet neat people. I would say the pitfalls are show people like bookers that don't understand what you're dong. I had a club in Dallas that just kept bugging me, bugging me, bugging me to get me, the Lollies and the band to come out. He wanted the burlesque performers to sit on people's lap and get them to buy drinks, which is not what we do. I'm sure we could but I think he had the wrong idea about what we did and it didn't really sit very well with me or the other performers. They like to keep a distance between themselves and the audience. So I would say the pitfalls are look out for those club promoters who take advantage of you and take advantage of your sweetness, your good looks and your hot bod and try to make a lot of money off you. It's more than just the fun of putting on a burlesque show. I realize there's business involved but giving guys free lap dances and encouraging them to buy drinks ain't a part of it, I don't do nothing for free. So I would say the pitfalls, it's mostly the promoters and the club bookers that I would look out for.
I do get lotsa requests from beginners at shows, on tours especially. I get lotsa emails as well. I think being supportive and giving out info is great. I come from a different perspective because of my music but I think tons of women want to express their sexuality on stage. Look-how popular Pole Dancing for housewives 101 has become from Carmen Elektra. I think it is a good thing! The perks of working in Burlesque are showing off my naughty bits and getting paid to be subversive Sometimes when burlesque becomes "trendy" it diluted what the more seasoned burlesque starlettes were doing but time will-tell-who the greats are, like Catherine, D'Lish, Dita, Dirty Martini, Kitty Diggins, the Lollies, Harlem Shake, etc.
ZVB: In the history of burlesque, which show do you feel was the most erotic? What particular moves do you think are most alluring? There was much controversy over the which dance style was the most raunchy, from the shimmy to the tango. Which do you think was the most wild for the times?
Kitten: I think the most risque stuff was performed in Weimar Berlin. I think they really pushed the envelope with drugs, sexuality, homosexuality, musical experimentation etc. I am supposed to go to Berlin in Summer 2006. I am so excited! I love Misha Spolianski's songs from that period like, "I Am A Vamp" and "Special Girlfriend". I think Sally Rand was super bold doing her fan dance and giant bubble dance in just body makeup. She was essentially all nude!
ZVB: Sophie Tucker got arrested for singing a song considered too obscene. What song have you done that might have got you arrested?
Kitten: Well, I have been arrested, even recently. Never make verbal threats of harming yourself, it'll get you 5150'd in a heartbeat in my house. Fuck. Actually, sometimes I break FCC regulations a lot. Janet Jackson backlash. Sometimes I don't care if my nipples show if I have a pastie accident. Once I did a whole performance as a battered and bruised Jon Benet Ramsey and the flaming diaper of shame. I took off my adult diaper, doused it with lighter fluid, lit some money on fire, and then pee peed all over the diaper until the fire went out. My statement on Jon Benet's bed wetting and how her parents paid off the Boulder Police. I guess I did it because my last name is Ramsey plus I like to relieve myself in public.
ZVB: You collect old sheet music, which are some of your favorites?
Kitten: I'm pals with San Francisco's own Bob Grimes who saves me naughty 1920s stuff. Vintage sheet music titles I like; I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones. There's Just A Little Bit Of Monkey (Still Left In You And Me). All the Quakers Are Shoulder Shakers (Down In Quaker Town). Keep Your Undershirt On. How 'Ay Gonna Keep "em Down On the Farm. (After They've Seen Pare). Snake Hips. I'm My Own Grandpa. From The Indies To the Andes In His Undies. What Kind Of A Noise Annoys An Oyster? Any Tom Leher. Masochism Tango. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park. Smut.
ZVB: It's so wonderful you're keeping the old, true art form of Vaudeville alive. What about its lifestyle really appeals to you?
Kitten: Vaudeville reminds me of my favorite show as a child, the Carol Burnett Show! I like stripping to vintage music just because I think the songs are way more clever and fun and have a lot going on to them. I also like changing the words around of course, like
Good Ship Lollipop, to make it. one big sassy, saucy, sexy extravaganza. I like having a sense of humor when I do this, sometimes, like I did the other night, I don't know why, for no reason, I just took off my dress. Thank god I had some decent pasties and panties on. It was fun and it was comfortable. I guess I'm comfortable with partial nudity. I do think stripping and teasing is great because it leaves more to the imagination. I think that there is just so much blatant sexuality, nudity and violence and everything is so in your face. I mean who hasn't seen a pierced dick and a pierced hood on a lady's naughty bits. Who hasn't seen all that stuff. We're all over exposed. Leaving a little tweaking to the imagination is-great. I think one of the greatest tease artists is Katherine D'Lish, I think she's so sexy, the way she performs and does stuff and shakes up a champagne bottle like it's you know, a penis coming. It’s all done with such class. Also, I'm a little fuller fleshed and I think it's nice to see real bodies on the stage instead of plastic silicone, bronzed, tanned ones that are absolutely perfect. I also love to have everything be a little tongue and cheek, just a little wink wink, nod nod, a kinder, gentler time when things weren't so crazy. I'm telling you, this on a day when fucking Bush is gonna be getting on the TV telling us why we need to have a war. Ehh, yikes. I'd rather go to a burlesque show and forget my worries.
One of the things I love most about performing Vaudeville is traveling to new places to expose myself to new people. As Gypsy Rose Lee and company would do, they would tour different circuits until the contract ran out. I adore touring. I get so focused on just performing, major daily distractions don't bother me. Having ADD, running a small `freak for hire' business, writing music, making costumes, feigning stigmata for the publicity, getting my meds adjusted, tapping my toes to Bessie Smith like I'm a head banging' goat licker, wears me out sometimes. With touring it's performing only and waiting until our cycles sync up! That always happens. Touring is my favorite thing to do. I have a hard time accepting success due to super low self-esteem. I feel incredibly grateful that I get to play dress up and sing wacky songs all over town and beyond. I change characters so easily, anything but to be myself. When I don't have gigs I volunteer to perform at rest homes and benefits just to keep go go going! Nothin' is funner than getting together with your girlfriends, playing dress up, and re-enacting old movies and musicals with a twist. Coming up with original stuff is awesome too. I have several songs on the back burner that are titillating! I love being Libacrotchie, I discovered you can see your entire love tunnel if you do the splits on the piano bench at Bimbos, there's a mirror right there!
ZVB: You always have the most lavish costumes, do you make them or have them made? Who makes your stage props?
Kitten: I love Ann Corio and absolutely adore her book. I am one of those performers who has to wear the double eyelashes. I have really big eyes so to accentuate 'em I double the lashes, top and bottom. I think it is also very flapperesque. I also think being a bit of a glittery bitch is great. Swarovski crystal flatback rhinestones look good on everything! The rhinestones come in tiny zip lock baggies, I feel like I am scoring crack or some kind of dope! Decorating my wardrobe, even my ukulele and accordion with aurora borealis rhinestones is my key to success. Because, if you sound lousy, at least you'll look good sounding bad! I use the super talented costumer Monique Motil She runs and. directs a Vaudeville show called Spectacular Spectacular. I was lucky enough to be in a couple of her shows doing a morbid version of Me and Little Andy by Dolly Parton as I got pelted with tomatoes and crooned in June to the moon while stroking my mighty Uke in another. She's a brilliant woman of large stature and talent. She's made me all my favorite costumes_ I recently started making my own costumes, mostly with glue because I can't sew. I make tons of accessories with Swarovski crystal rhinestones. For my trip to Monte Carlo 2005 to shoot photos with Style Monte Carlo's-Ammedeo Turello. Glamamore from the Miss Trannyshack Pageant fame, made me two fabulous outfits to reflect the Mediterranean Sea. Gorgeous lined gowns with trains and rip away panels.
ZVB: Will you indulge us in some of the dirty jokes you tell during your acts?
Kitten: Yes, it's very, very true that I have a potty mouth. I've always been this way and a lot of the dirty jokes that I tell just kind of, please excuse me, I pull out of my butt. I don't know how it happens. I feed off the audience or I feed off what's going on or I feed off my own song lyrics and just kind of stream of consciousness, tell dirty jokes. A lot of them are very childish and very silly. A lot of it you can find in my song lyrics but I would say a couple things are, for instance; "No one is jerking while looking at my merkin " A merkin, of course, which I mentioned before, is a pubic area wig. I like to make them and I like to show them off. I have ones that light up. I have candy ones, I have ones that make noise and I would say across the board people really love that. Also in one of my songs; Grandma sells my panties on ebay, "the inmates come unhinged when they smell my hoo hoo" and that's just awful, I'm talking a little 8 year old's private areas smelling up a pair of panties and how inmates in a jail cell really like them. That's pretty bad. It's kind of like, "I went to Neverland Ranch and got molested and all I got was this stupid t-shirt." You know bad stuff like that. Not very funny, pushing the envelope. I feel like it's ok for me to make jokes about sexual abuse because I was sexually abused and that's a way of me working out my problems.
I do work out a lot of my personal problems onstage I would say a lot of my dirty jokes comes from that. Also my last name is Ramsey and when the Jon Benet Ramsey scandal came out, I really took to that. I wasn't a baby beauty queen but I was a child who was fiddled with. I don't know. I took to that as something that I put in my act. I work with it a lot. I even met some people in Denver who knew a lot about the Jon Benet Ramsey case and when the family moved from Boulder, they had some items left over in their home from the Jon Benet Ramsey scandal This is horrible but they actually had some of her belongings and I got to see them. They used them in a show, it was really kind of weird, as props. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you about this. Maybe this is terrible. Oh my goodness. I also like to use some drag queens jokes. I like to use anybody getting hard or hard times jokes and I like to have the audience participate in the dirty jokes. Just get involved in my numbers as much as possible, to involve them. It's really fun. To help me figure out rhymes, to help me with the punchlines. I pretend that I forget them and I try to have people figure it out. That's really fun, that's fun for me. That's a way of telling jokes.
ZVB: How many personas and acts have you done to date? What were they based on?
Kitten: I actually have a lot of different personas because heck, who wants to be themselves. I think portraying other people comes from me being so insecure and hating my life. It's way more furl and glamorous and silly to pretend and play even at my old age and be somebody else. I would say the first persona I started doing was the little girl thing. I could get away with a lot of dirty jokes, a lot of pedophile stuff and again I think it's because I was molested as a kid and it was a way for me to work through things. Suzanne Benet Ramsey was one of the characters. Then I did a character called Squirmy Ruffle Butt who was very gregarious, who was a circus entertainer extraordinaire, who had no talent. And that was for a show called Carny Mundi, that was pretty fun. That's when I started really deciding I liked to perform and then I've been in lots of bands and I think each one had a different persona really. There was a band called the White Stains, we were kind of 60s psychedelic all girl rock. Then I was in a band called Sugarbaby Doll and also Sugar Babylon with some people from Hole, L7 and Babes in Toyland. I think that our personas, we pretended that we were in the Cocteau twins, that wasn't a very good band. I listen to the tapes and laugh. Only Kat Bjellan and Jennifer Finch had talent.
Let's see, Cabaret Chanteuse is another one that 11 portray, the Holy Roller Bible Girl is another one I do. That's actually one of my favorites because I was brought up so rigidly in the church and it's very, very fun to be naughty with religion because they are so fucked up. Religion sucks (sighs exasperated). The persona I'm probably most known for, based on myself is the Pretty Princess. She is a 30 something girl who hates herself, hates her body, hates everything about it including her bad pubic hair and hairy legs. She likes her boobs but everything else can go. It's about having a bad day. I would say that's probably what I'm best known for, is the ugly fat girl who hates herself, It's very close and near and dear to my heart, so I think I do that one well Being insecure is a big thing. Also, the naughty little girl, of course I think I've mentioned that, the abused little girl. I think a lot of my personas and a lot of the things that I do are very off the cuff. I -don't mean to do it, they just kind of happen. I also do the 17th century, very flowery, piano, harpsichord lady. I love that, I love that whole Amadeus Amadeus kind of thing. It's very flowery and flittery on my finger tips. Oh and how could I forget my Hawaiian character, Kiki Kukani, she's the Uke strumming bimbo of Hawaii, Kiki means kitten and Kukani means Suzanne, so Kitty Suzanne is my Ukulele character. She likes to stroke the Uke and more. That's fun. I had Cyril from the Ukulele Club Of Paris come to one of my gigs in Paris this summer!
ZVB: What movies or television have you done?
Kitten: I've done have been extra work in So I married an Axe Murderer, the beat poetry cafe scenes I was in ended on the cutting room floor though. Murder in the First in1995. I was working in vintage clothing store. The costumers came in and bought a butt load of costumes from us for this 1930s drama. I caught the costumer shoplifting and next thing you know I'm an extra in the film. Drunk crew members started calling and harassing me that they were Christian Slater's stand in and personal. assistants so I should give them a hand job or something. Not a fun experience. So much sit around and wait. But, I did learn the beauty of the craft services table. Red Vines rule! More cutting room floor in this one. I've done lots of cable TV and cable access TV; HBO Reel Sex, Sex Bytes; 3 times! I played the cheesy wedding march on a Casio keyboard for a couple getting married in latex clothing. The clothes were amazing by So Hip It Hurts. So funny to see these now. The groom was such a cad and was sleeping with the flower girl right after the real wedding. Just amazing. I was a cast member of a show put on by author/UC Berkeley Professor Mel Gordon (Voluptuous Panic) and Goethe Institute. It was a recreated Sex Museum based on pre-Nazi Berlin. The focus was sexologist Dr Magnus Hirschfield. There was a sexy cabaret and an aphrodisiac meal. The show did not get great reviews but was featured on HBO's Sex Bytes for several years and was translated into several different languages. I played the bare buttocks as percussion (Shmertz Music, real vintage German Ass Whipping Music that was found in the Museum!) and played piano while using a masturbation machine that looked like a wooden bicycle dressed as Shirley Temple. A gigglefest for sure. Great idea but the show was a bomb . So funny that the Shirley act stayed with me all these years!
I was on the E! network interviewed by Nina Hartley at the Exotic Erotic Ball one year. My pals from all over the. country called me late at night for years to say they saw me in a gingham corset and tutu on TV! One year I performed onstage at the huge leather event in SF, The Folsom St Fair, in a Plushy shiny pink bra I made out of Hello Kitty Earmuffs. Gina Gerschon was off filming her documentary Rocked and I ended up in the footage! She was rehearsing for her girly rock movie "Prey For Rock And Roll". My Hello Kitty Boobs and custom over the top Kitten Tiara ended on the IFC Channel for the world to see! Local cable access has long had a love affair for my silly antics! I have been on Reality Check cable 29 for several episodes including a feature at the Naughty Santa's Black Market Bazaar at SOMARTS Gallery and on with Stoney Speaks, a Berkeley Cable Access outspoken host who is porn star Nina Hartley's pal. The engineer was the guitar player for the cool punk band the Angry Amputees. He really is an amputee and great engineer without digits! Also Fuck TV (channel 29) as Haterella, a Victorian lass counting sand at a tea party and sleeping with a shovel Very Andy Warhol's sleep_ And there was Man on the Menu-zombie film (another channel 29). I played a brain eating zombie_ I looked for boys at the book drop at the Public Library who looked smart. My fave was playing with the mummified cat in the Presidio's antique pet cemetery. Spooky. This was in association with `Zombie. Pin Ups', Zombique, Monique Motil; the zombie mastermind who is the wonderful seamstress who makes all of my costumes!
ZVB: Wow, you've done a lot of cable!
Kitten: I also did the Debonair Millionaire (29 pilot). This really shitty game show pilot sucked so bad. Some of the worst lines I have ever uttered. I played the pianist and love interest of the debonair millionaire who gave clues to this San Francisco treasure hunt game. I got to play piano in an amazing historic landmark, the Archbishop's Mansion dressed in my tango finery. The piano used to belong to Noel Coward! The last scene is of me in a bubble bath luring investors to buy into the project. What a heap of garbage. I needed that bubble bath to wash away those lame lines. I was interviewed for a special on Burlesque for the CBS evening news! I got to sing and dance and narrate a little history on Burlesque in SF. So awesome! My mom actually got to see it before she passed away and as conservative as she was, she was so proud of me! The San Francisco Sex and the City 2004, Hello Dolly Variety Show Burlesque night was another. I gave these folks as
much material for their one hour special on the history of sex in SF. They came down and filmed a San Francisco's Famous Burlesque Revue Show at the Make Out Room as part of the Burlesque Revival. I was shown half naked strummin' my trusty uke and singing with the Burlesque Orchestra as the Lollies danced! I was listed in the credits and I felt great that I was remembered as a useful resource! I have been on the Tess Sweet's Sex Pro the TV show twice now. The director of Sweet Moves, a Jazzercise sex exercise video has her own hilarious TV show! Once I did my Shirley Temple strip tease. The second time, my other cabaret act, The Firkeytoodlers (old Engilsh for `before the fuck') did a really raunchy song with the very frightening Mr. Tinkler (Ward Abronski from Polkacide) singing a delightful version of "Little Girls" from the musical Annie and a pedophilic monstrosity called `Bad". Other TV shows were Canal Plus and Queer TV: Kitten goes international! On the Cabaret New Burlesque show for 200-5 in Paris, one of my costume classes was caught on film for Canal +, the hip HBO of France. Dirty Martini from NY taught sultry sexy Burlesque dance. moves while I taught bra embellishment, costume tips, and the class fave "teton" or pastie making. I purchased all of the supplies in the states and boy did those gals go to town on their boobie embellishments! Dirty and I taught 2 successful sold out classes that were shown on TV. I had several French email me about seeing us on TV! In 2005 I was honored to perform as Lil' Ho-Peep on Queer TV's JackE Jett variety talk show. I got flown to LA and put up in a nice hotel. The who was great, so retro 80s Queer with dancing girls and a host that looked like Max- Headroom with one yellow dish washing glove. Super duper cheesy fun. I love my UP Ho Peep outfit, but I did not get to finish my act due to time constraints. No Boobie Money Shot for me! I was so anxious to do "Pretty Princess" as my feature and have a total meltdown on TV. I'll keep my fingers crossed for another chance to publicly humiliate myself! My great pal Kitty Diggins performed at a later taping that day, we got to catch up for 5 minutes before I had to go to the airport.
ZVB: What's the most recent television work you've done?
Kitten: I just participated in a silly reality cooking show for Bravo, kind of a Queer Eye of the Chef set; Top Chef. It will air April 2006. The show was filmed at Mr. S Leather and Ms S Latex's showroom South of Market. Super swanky and beyond cheesy. All the `top chefs' task was to make sexy food. I felt it was all based on spicy cum shots, very yucky. Only a couple of the sexy desserts were edible. There was a chocolate gouache bikini that made my mouth stick together, how sexy, like a chocolate gag ball. I never drink, it mixes poorly with head meds. I was bored even though RuPaul stopped by to sample the naughty noshes. After a couple sips of wine, I was eating crunchy cookies off latex clad porcelain boobies. The cookies sucked by the boobies were hot cha cha. When the cameras roll my inner attention seeking, sexually abused child comes out to play. That was a good night to be a practicing bulimic I can't imagine what crap they will keep in the show. My fake ghetto hair kept getting caught in my pastie tassels. Riotous laughter at my expense followed me throughout the buffet line that night!
ZVB: What was the oddest request you've ever received from a fan or fellow performer?
Kitten. I had a really funny thing happen to me last night. I do a lot of benefits for people with Aids or Cancer just because I'm one of those help-a-holic people. It makes me feel good to donate my time. And I have fun doing it, get all dressed up with a bunch of drag queens, it's great. So the woman who put together the event had to bring her four month old baby and her husband was sitting in the back with the baby and I was the only burlesque performer on the bill and I went last. I guess the father of the baby told the woman that put on the event, who was the mother, "Oh my god the baby's hungry after watching kitten on the keys exposing her nipples. And I just thought that was really funny. That's one of the funniest things ever said to me about my partial nudity. I just got a phone call from a booking agent to be a really cutsie Shirley Temple like girl with a giant number on me for this coming Wednesday on roller skates at Moscone Center. I was delighted to meet Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols that night while on roller skates. I'm such a star fucker! One time, one of the weirder performer things I had to do, was be on roller skates and stilts for Nordstroms and I actually fell on a crack in the sidewalk and I broke (laughs), I had a hairline fracture in my elbow. Which was really bad because I had to quit a lot of jobs over that because I need my piano arms and fingers to play and Nordstroms wouldn't take responsibility for it. So that's actually one of the odder requests that I've had, doing stilts for Nordstroms. That was actually really humiliating (whispers) but I needed the money.
ZVB: In your opinion what makes the strip tease so much more sexy than just straight nudity?
Kitten: I think burlesque is fun over just straight nudity because it takes a lot of imagination to put together some cool little shticks that makes peoples' imagination go twitter twitter. And I think it brings out a dancer and a performer's personality a lot more too. I know I can be kinda meek and mild offstage and a little shy but when I'm up there I'm such a stage whore and I think it really brings out my true personality. It's really, really fun. And I think the fun is then infectious and everybody enjoys it. I think teasin' is pleasin! It is fun and leaves things up- to an individual's imagination. Burlesque brings folks together instead of stripping, which alienates people, because it is more about getting off in a corner with a private dance or being in a private hidey hole watching a movie. Yes, I am generalizing stripping but simply for the sake of this question. After seeing some purdy sparkly boobies and cute ruffled drawers one can keep that image in their head and go home and do what they want with it! Wink wink, nudge nudge humor can be served in heapin' helpings in front of everyone! The more the merrier. Let's share spunky lowbrow sexuality with each other instead of keeping it behind closed doors. For me I like the partial nudity because I have never really liked my entire body. With Burlesque I can just show off the bits I do like! Hey, I don't want to share my ass pimple with everyone! I am proud I have perky boobies and a plump rumpus room. Makes for a monkey spankin' good time!
ZVB: What are your plans for future shows? Who of your current colleagues would you love to work with?
Kitten: Right now I am working with Rodney Austin, the chick with the great big dick. Rodney is a visual artist and a flapper. And we have a new little band, a little duo called the Mudd Flappers, it's like two big personalities coming together to make one big thing. We do songs from the 1920s. We've collaborated before in. the past on little shows. I kind of brought him into the burlesque world because he's just such a dynamic personality. He was the first person to ever have a one person show at the Center for the Arts, Yerba Buena Center, first person to ever have a show. And he is gorgeous, an absolutely gorgeous flapper, who just happens to be 6' 4". Rodney Land is the website for Rodney. Another person that I continue to enjoy collaborating with is Kitty Dickens. I'm going to be collaborating with a European cabaret artist; Jasmine Vegas. She's an ex-patriot, No Wave gal from New York. She moved to Paris and she continues to having a thriving career over there and we were introduced in France last year in Nantes and we've stayed in touch and we're actually having a show together in a few weeks.
One collaboration I'm working on currently is with three members of the band Polkacide and we are going to be performing 1920s and 193.0s songs on Ukulele. That's with Ward Abronski. I'm on piano, ukulele and vocals. We've got a Dixieland kind of sound going on. And then we have an amazing, sassy clarinet player who wrote the Weiner Dog Polka, Neil Basa and then Laurence on Trombone. So it's going to be a really fun eclectic mixture of musicians playing 20s and 30s music. We're called Ukethenasia, so that's yet another collaboration that I'm working with, that I'm very excited with. I will be going to Europe and collaborating with a bunch of women to do a show called Cabaret New Burlesque, we're doing a show in France in the Belleville district, it's a theatre called Le Zebra. I guess they have all these African animals hanging up all over the ceiling. Sounds fun, a fun little theatre. The theatre is next door to a Muslim mosque. Lots of sandals and shoes out front. So while I'm in Paris after the show, myself and fellow performer Ms Dirty Martini, we get to go down to the south of France, to go to Monaco and we're getting a photo shoot done. Which is just so bizarre, I can't believe that in my life, that I'd get to go do such an interesting thing. I can't believe they'd even want me. I really respect Dirty Martini and her work as an artist. If anyone can light a stage on fire, it's Dirty Martini.
I also wish to continue my collaboration with artist Joshua Ellingston. And one day I would love to do either a comic book; The adventures of Kitten. Maybe make up a whole story and have Joshua illustrate it. Maybe even a children's book, stop being so naughty and just pare it down to pure, plain innocent fun, which could be great. I also wish to continue my collaborations with Monique Motile, who's a costumer. I'm also reaching out to other costumers in the field. I'm going to be working with Trannyshack costumer extraordinaire Glamormore aka Mr David, who just sews for everybody. He just is an amazing, amazing designer. He's going to make me something for my photo shoot in Monaco. So I'm very excited about that. I just want to keep collecting songs, I want to continue to write songs. I have many, many, many things on the back burner, just notebooks full of ideas. I've a song written about Liberace, which is exciting because I love the big, grandiose silliness and showmanship of Liberace. I have a song about trepanning, which is about the practice of boring holes in your skull, to give your brain a little air. Songs about a lot of other stuff. I just want to get it out there and have a lot of fun with it. I wouldn't mind doing a one woman show called Kitty Glitter. That's also something that I've written. I've been so busy lately. Maybe when I get back from France and maybe when Tease-o-Rama is over, which is going to be in San Francisco, which is delightful. I found out that I'm in the hot seat again as the MC, which is great and I think all of this has taught me that maybe I want to do my own talk show and have all sorts of different characters especially like old burlesque stars from the past coming on talking about what they do and then having new performers do things. I would love to have a fun variety talk show on cable access. So that's also something that's in the works. Oh my god, when you hear, "We have some very exciting developments on the backburner," it's like now I know when people say that, what that means. Lots of idea, it's just having them germinate and grow into something. I'm hoping after Tease-o-Rama some new fresh ideas will be out there for me and my performing.
ZVB: Do you have a regular playbill for your fans to go see you at?
Kitten: I usually tickle the ivories at the Rite Spot Cafe in the Mission District once a month. I have been playing there for over 3 years! The piano is really, really outta tune and lousy but it seems to lend itself to my kinky kitschy cabaret ditties and flapperette charmers. I get to bring my stuffed animal companions to stick on the piano to gussy the place up and provide me with the comforts of a teenagers bedroom for when I get nervous. The Rite Spot is a great place to experiment, to bring in new material, try out new instruments, guffaws and giggles! The shows are free and I can scurry through the crowd and flirt and beg for tips. The one drawback is that my back is to the crowd. A lot of my charm is my tortured face contortions which I can still do since I have not succumbed to the lure of Botox.
I am an occasional Trannyshack Performer. I do tons of benefits with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence! I got to do an outdoor festival on Easter Sunday with them! Happy Keister Funday! I do many sex positive cabarets. They can handle the kinkier stuff! I always like to add a little male booty into the mix. My fave sexy, straight man I collaborate with is Roky Roulette; The World's Only Pogo Strip Tease Artist. When he is not licking cupcakes off my toes in a pig snout bra for my toe fetish song; "Bare My Sole", he is my 6 packed abed Jesus with a "host" stuck in his nappy pubic hair for me to nibble for my song "Lonesome Valley", a true story about how I would have sexual fantasies about Jesus during my prepubescent formative years as a dancer in an interpretive dance troupe in the 70's called the Earthen Vessels. We would wear brown Danskin leotards that would show our areolas. The church elders were appalled by our budding breasts. I thought Jesus had a nice package. So does Roky Roulette and I am honored he shares the stage with me in my sinful silly romps.
I perform a lot with the award winning burlesque troupe, The Lollies. We do some fun, sexy numbers together from old musicals and more. Right now we are both involved in an ongoing show at the Plush Room in the York Hotel in San Francisco. The show is called "Dirty Little Secret". It has a speakeasy, vaudeville theme, awash with liquor, a boozy band (that is wonderful), dancing girls, magic, comedy, expensive bathtub gin, and singers. I get to do a variety of things from playing the accordion (Kitten On the Squeeze) to my original; "Granny Sells My Panties On E-Bay" (we throw out Dirty Little Secret Kitty Granny Panties that are stuffed into my ruffled drawers) to being KiKi Kakane, a slutty Hawaiian gal who strums here uke and sings 20's songs as the gorgeous Lollies hand out leis to the audience. A special wigglin' wahine, the very large MC RJ Owens (he's at least 400 lbs and he lets me glitter up his boobies), lovingly acts out the words to "Hilo Hattie". The show is really fun and I am delighted that such a nice, "pretentious"
venue lets me act out some of my wilder fantasies on stage!
I have also been involved with Tease-O-Rama, Miss Exotic World, and The New York Burlesque Festival. I just adore the large gatherings of gals and glitter! The Cabaret New Burlesque Show that I have done in France twice, is supposed to be heading back to Europe in late June! My paws are crossed for that one! I cannot wait to go back to Europe where I feel I am really appreciated. I just got two more articles from a Parisian Rock Magazine! Lil of piano playin' uke strummin accordion squeezin' vibe buzzin' ME! I love it!
I have a new project called the Mud Flappers. It is a busking street performance, roving vaudeville cabaret featuring myself and the uber talented artist and performer Miss Rodney Austin, The Chick With the Great Big Dick! Minnie Pearl Necklace was a common site in front of the Castro theater in the 90's. Our stage is where ever we throw our glitter. We are inspired by Pippi Longstocking, Hof Braus, Little Marcy, Demon Dolly Parton, and Annette Hanshaw. Our rehearsals have been over the phone lines which has been really fun! We are getting little battery powered amps and megaphones for the uke and vocals. Our set includes gender bending country songs; My Son Calls A Lesbian Daddy, Hank Williams and songs that were banned from the Disney film Bambi. (Twitterpated). Our combined kookiness and tongue in cheek humor will hopefully keep the tourists and natives happy.
ZVB: Have you been developing any new acts or talents?
Kitten: Being a Gemini, I am a natural communicator. I love conveying messages with my acts no matter how silly they may seem. You can make anything `art' if you elevate it to that level. You dub in art then it is art! A great example of this is a simple one off act called Master of Puppets. I performed at Tease-o-rama 2005 with Boylesque Rock Star Roky Roulette. The image was so big and awesome. Roky played the puppet master on stilts with a at tall marching band hat, he was about 9 feet tall. I played the stripper puppet with a fabulous rip away gown made by Trannyshack seamstress extraordinaire Glamamore or Mr. David. As I strip to pasties and undies by the evil puppet master's sparkling strings, I gain power to pick up Pepto Bismol pink hedge sheers which cut my marionette tethers and reverse roles on the puppet master. I pants him revealing a glittering g-string with a sausage tassel that hung to his knees. Twirl for me baby! (Laughs). A little revenge of the Burly Q Doll. Also I've been Mc'ing as of November 2005. Though the male performers nastiness towards my public popularity is the strangest feeling, to have several men give me shit for getting great gigs over them. They feel that an MC's job belongs to a man, they want the job and feel that they are superior. I say they are wrong. I am a Femme C, bringing some feline to the mic, something with a new twist. I had certain individuals try to fake me out into hiring me away so they could take my big Burlesque show MC. I think it is great to have women announcing other women. I recently MC'd for a huge arts organization in San Francisco, laughingsquid.com, all the women and men on the board of Directors were super happy a woman was in the Captain's chair announcing the acts for a change. This was a great feeling.
ZVB: The first famous stripper Ann Corio had explained the secret to her success, "Make yourself as feminine-looking as you can. Go in for a lot of frills, furs, ruffles and parasols. Always put everything you have into your work to put it over. Don't take off your panties, it makes a girl's figure look prettier to have those little gadgets on." Do you have a secret to your success? A motto or axiom for girls to live by when performing?
Kitten: I have a couple. One is, I love to sparkle. I used to be such a drab, drab person and have such a limited color palate. I've just really gotten into color and pizzazz lately. The more I perform, the more I love it. I just took my color movies, seeing old movies brought out this love for me. I really do believe boy panties are sexier, to leave a little more up to the imagination. I also love including a merkin, a little pubic cover, having them fun, like for Easter I do little Easter baskets with peeps. I also like to make silly pasties. I'll take candy, stuffed animals and make really silly but sexy pasties and merkins. That's part of the fun. Also wearing lots of rhinestones and putting glitter on your boobs. I also think having cute pasties or really sexy pasties are a really good thing. Because after all people want to see boobs. Boobs are good! I hate it when I have pastie accidents, some people love it. I've had a double pastie accident at the Eagle and they didn't care, some men loved it. But I'm like, this is illegal, it's a beer bust..ahh! A motto for girls to live by, I really think wardrobe is important. You know a lot of legends of burlesque down at Exotic World, when you talk to them, wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe is was so essential. I met this wonderful woman Ricky Cortez who started dancing in 1946 and Ricky showed me some of her old jewelry from the 40s that she had purchased, that are just gorgeous pieces. She's like, I'll never get rid of these! I can see why. She still has Eisenburg Ice earrings and necklaces that cost 100s of dollars even back in the day, so you can imagine what they're worth now and they're just rhinestones!